Greatest Nonsense of It All

Is my soul nocturnal?~ Or maybe just plain ungrateful. I see you more when it is dark.

"To put the alcohol cap back on it after using it" that was i think my only new year's resolution for myself. Im not even sure if i meant it. And If i recall correctly kasi, I also blogged last January that for a change i dont want to change. But siguro that was wrong for me to say so. I hope its not too late for me though. There is always room for a good change.-hindi lang natin sure kung there is always a time. Being less impatient, for instance (among many others..;p tsk tsk tsk). Nagiging ungrateful pa ako. Blessings have been raining on us and I welcomed it as if God owed it to me. WALASTIK! ang kapal ko. I missed the essence of the blessings. That Blessings are not rewards and that God does not owe me anything. They are God's grace. And God's grace is all that I truly have. -before you think another thought- Siguro naman I am obliged to have a kunsensya and a chance to be grateful.. no hindi po ako biglang naging relihiyosa, hindi po ako biglang naging feeling special. I already know Im not a exactly a good Christian, so huwag niyo na lang akong tularan. :) Ako kasi,I blog about all kinds of nonsense, trying to make sense of every detail of life that makes its mark on my head. I forgot to make sense of God's love when it is the most nonsense of all in my life. BLASPHEMOUS? kasi patapusin muna ako. It is nonsense because I am too stupid to understand God's love. It is nonsense because I am too undeserving yet there it is, always healing me from time to time. It is the only nonsense in this world that I will never be thankful enough. The only nonsense I truly need in my life :) Maraming maraming salamat po Big J.

Holy holy week.

Lagi pong tandaan: If we are in perfect happiness, It is God's grace. If we are in deep shit (nice choice of words noh?) It is God's greatest times in our life, do not overlook that.

* To God: if I do not live up to daring thoughts i say. First of all, because i cannot exorcize myself out of being the sinner that I am, as it is so hard, so terribly hard,at siguro inutil ako. It is with all my heart that i thank you for giving me a lifetime to try to do so (regardless how long or how short), no matter how many times I have already failed you and myself. When in my fear and shame , i just want to let go, like the many times i have almost given you up,and even when people have given up on me, you remind me that You are God, that you will never give up on me. ;p Maraming Salamat Po.

note: "no disrespect meant in any way. hope no reader should ever misunderstand.