My Happiness

One minute life was savvy and then the next minute its adversity.

We can never really predict where the wind blows next. Saturday was the day. It was also the day for my turn on sore eyes. Please see below photo of my swelling peepers:

No - I was not in Pinoy Mano Mano. These are compliments of my mom. virus ka...;p

I hid them in disguise via my 50php tiangge-bought old red shades, which i had to fish out with an umbrella from the back of the shoe cabinet amongst the dust and spider cobwebs. I used it for the first time ever. My eyes were practically morning glory factory and very much swelling. If it looked good on me (the shades), it was the least of my priorities, but i must admit, I thought of it.

Life has an odd way of piling up misfortune on your head sometimes. And my state of conjunctivitis was just a small dot to what we were given next:

"My Happiness is when I know they are safe" Does anybody ever take my friendster profile seriously, or is it just another poetic introduction?. Im serious. Saturday night- I was reminded, that my happiness is when i know they are safe. There is a lump on Czesca's left breast. This life is twisted. Oh my goodness. I was just praying to God, to let the results be okay, atleast give us hope or give us something to look forward to. She is God's grace and I refuse to believe she is anything other than that. I remembered myself when my sister got sick and I put my hand on rain's head, out of desperation, i just prayed for her to be healed ( ala' faith-healer stance.yes). I sort of just said then"Lord I know im not the right person to do this, im not even worthy, Im not a prophet and Im not even a good christian but give us a miracle, heal her. dont take her away". Lets have a recap. A few days after, my sister was dead. God doesnt always answer our prayers they way we want Him to. It was traumatic. After a situation like that, it tend to make you paranoid. So involuntarily, memories of my sister flashed back in my mind and I really dont want history to repeat itself, especially on Czesca. I was just praying so hard, I said It didnt work before,but it has to now. Im not asking for a miracle now. Im asking for mercy. (we were really scared. ) Im not asking for strength. Im asking for faith.

Monday came and the results were out: There is nothing we can do about the lump at the moment. There is no medicine, we just have to monitor closely every month and do a sonomammogram test (if i said that right). In every result, hope to find consistently no cyst or any sort of transformation of the lump. Im feeling better, there is no way that i will look at this again with pessimism in my heart, I did my prayer and nowI'll do my faith. Czesca is okay, she is still her playful beautiful self. The doctor said the good news is there is chance that it could go away by itself. We are willing to wait. And I am really looking forward to that day.. I know God has given us hope and its a good sign. (and I will keep my promise and I know She is still God's grace.) Thank you Lord for the good times and the adversities. May you always find your way in us when we tend to fall short most of the time. Keep them safe Lord. Keep them safe.