Wanted New Yaya =)

Its a little sad that each Christmas we celebrate with a different yaya for Czesca. But then again at the same time, siguro it could be considered as a blessing in disguise, because more people get the chance to meet and love Czesca. Kahit pa one year one year, im pretty sure those girls loved my daughter and thats a gift that is mutually appreciated. Its also helpful in the way that maybe it allows Czesca to exercise good response towards goodbyes, and we are able to keep her from the Yaya-over-parent syndrome. Until maybe one day if we ever find one who will stay with her until she grow up siguro we'll experience that hehe. Although we dont plan to make her yaya dependent all the way, if in the case, a good yaya would come along who would want to stay longer than we expect, then we will let her stay until retirement or even until mag asawa na si Czesca if possible, simply because I wont push away people who would love Czesca that much ever.

Last year when Cris left, and Belle took up the job, Czesca kept calling her "Cris" which i think lasted for a few weeks until she became comfortable and learned to trust Belle. She wasnt really talking yet back then, except for a few words like Daddy and Cris, because she always heard us calling for Cris before. And now. Its Christmas again, Belle is leaving us on the 24th or 25th. I know for sure Czesca is going to miss her, because kids are kids,but it doesnt mean they wont notice when you leave. So I expect Czesca to be asking a lot of "san si Belle?" and expecting myself to say a lot " umuwi na sa kanila sort of stories" Because as we all know, the little bruha is very talkative now. Ngayon pa lang nga, we are little by little explaining to her the transition phase after Belle leaves. Mommy will be hands on muna..which is also good for me na rin kasi pag may pasok, i cant really spend time with her so ngayon bakasyon, full time guluhan kami.

It must be a little painful also for yayas when they leave. Especially when they have grown to love the kid, like there must be a stinging in the heart to know that you will never again make your alaga laugh, never again have to change their diapers,have to listen and keep up to their boggling kakulitan and siguro for the yaya who loved her alaga, the most painful would be to know that in the future, they might not even be remembered at all.

But wherever our ex-yayas go, i wish them more fortune and good bosses and happiness in whatever they decide to do with their lives.

Anyways, again we are in search of the world for another person we can trust the care of our daughter to. Above all, someone who would love her and keep her safety and happiness,as number 1 priority.

Hello new yaya whoever you would be. =)

Beer anung beer?

This morning before i left,
"beer" "beer" sabi ni Czesca.
She handed me her little bear.
"bear! not beer!" I said.
Siguro ganyan talaga pag mas madalas kasama si Yaya kaysa sa amin, namamali na yung mga pronounciation ni Czesca.

In Need of a Good Sleep

Oh..its not such a good day today. Im feeling very sleepy and i still have pictures of Baron pretending to be drunk but actually just being a real asshole in my mind. And I feel bad for being impatient last night when Czesca woke up around 2 am last night and suddenly just started crying and crying. We all want to be good mommies. But we're also just human, we falter every now and then. Easier said than done as they say. Before I left home this morning I gave her three kisses on the side of her lips. Maybe i was hoping she'd wake up and she'd see me. See that Im not angry anymore and that Im sorry.

The Little Talent Show

cute cute cute. That's our little princess. She was crying so bad inside the ultrasound room that we had to hold her down, and try to calm her . I tried distracting her by telling her we were going home already and all she had to do was say goodbye to the doctors. In the middle of her screams and wails, she let out a cute sob.. "buh-bye". --The 'bye' melts m&m's in their brown and yellow packages.-- That's how cute. For the next few minutes i kept her busy by asking her to do her bibo baby tricks. All in all... I asked her to show the doctors how to do "twinkle-twinkle" "close-open" "i have two hands" and yes i think even "beautiful eyes" pa pala and she did them,........... all while she was still wailing.
As they say, the show must go on. :)

Another fact is , It wasnt easy to hold Czesca down while she was crying her heart out. There was a sting in my heart and shake in my voice. But we needed to go through it. After the procedure, I just had to hug her really tight and say sorry to her (literally), for being scared and held down, for not knowing what is happening and for not being able to make any physical pain (if any) my own. she is our little princess.

My Happiness

One minute life was savvy and then the next minute its adversity.

We can never really predict where the wind blows next. Saturday was the day. It was also the day for my turn on sore eyes. Please see below photo of my swelling peepers:

No - I was not in Pinoy Mano Mano. These are compliments of my mom. virus ka...;p

I hid them in disguise via my 50php tiangge-bought old red shades, which i had to fish out with an umbrella from the back of the shoe cabinet amongst the dust and spider cobwebs. I used it for the first time ever. My eyes were practically morning glory factory and very much swelling. If it looked good on me (the shades), it was the least of my priorities, but i must admit, I thought of it.

Life has an odd way of piling up misfortune on your head sometimes. And my state of conjunctivitis was just a small dot to what we were given next:

"My Happiness is when I know they are safe" Does anybody ever take my friendster profile seriously, or is it just another poetic introduction?. Im serious. Saturday night- I was reminded, that my happiness is when i know they are safe. There is a lump on Czesca's left breast. This life is twisted. Oh my goodness. I was just praying to God, to let the results be okay, atleast give us hope or give us something to look forward to. She is God's grace and I refuse to believe she is anything other than that. I remembered myself when my sister got sick and I put my hand on rain's head, out of desperation, i just prayed for her to be healed ( ala' faith-healer stance.yes). I sort of just said then"Lord I know im not the right person to do this, im not even worthy, Im not a prophet and Im not even a good christian but give us a miracle, heal her. dont take her away". Lets have a recap. A few days after, my sister was dead. God doesnt always answer our prayers they way we want Him to. It was traumatic. After a situation like that, it tend to make you paranoid. So involuntarily, memories of my sister flashed back in my mind and I really dont want history to repeat itself, especially on Czesca. I was just praying so hard, I said It didnt work before,but it has to now. Im not asking for a miracle now. Im asking for mercy. (we were really scared. ) Im not asking for strength. Im asking for faith.

Monday came and the results were out: There is nothing we can do about the lump at the moment. There is no medicine, we just have to monitor closely every month and do a sonomammogram test (if i said that right). In every result, hope to find consistently no cyst or any sort of transformation of the lump. Im feeling better, there is no way that i will look at this again with pessimism in my heart, I did my prayer and nowI'll do my faith. Czesca is okay, she is still her playful beautiful self. The doctor said the good news is there is chance that it could go away by itself. We are willing to wait. And I am really looking forward to that day.. I know God has given us hope and its a good sign. (and I will keep my promise and I know She is still God's grace.) Thank you Lord for the good times and the adversities. May you always find your way in us when we tend to fall short most of the time. Keep them safe Lord. Keep them safe.

SORE EYES

aaaAAAHHHHH!!! Sore eyes. According to Ryan it hasnt spread out yet to infect the other eye, so its still contained in one eye. I dont know how Czesca is feeling. Ryan just called me on my cel, he's waiting for me at home. Im going to have to rush home, take the bus to V. Mapa then from V. Mapa, take the LRT to Recto then get a pedicab ride home.

It was acquired virally, that im very certain. Just a week and a half ago, my 2 brothers, their dad, and my mother (being the last one to get infected) had red sore eyes and i strictly kept them off our room and in contact with Czesca. My mom is nakakainis sometimes, by the time the redness of her eyes was gradually fading she kept on insisting she was fine already and was always up to touching Czesca and going into our room. Last week i was able to guard her off, but this week, because I have to be at the office, Im guessing she had her time to playing Czesca til she finally passed on the virus. AaaaHhhhh.. She knows this first hand that when sore eyes are in the stage of healing, the virus is more likely at its most contagious stage and its not like i can stop and 100% guard Czesca from touching her face and eyes which likely increase the chances of infection. I hope its not much painful for Czesca to open her eyes and blink. Yaya, Ryan and Me will be on the red alert. I cant afford to get infected as well. Not now, my schedule is fully booked. Neither can Ryan, He has a flight to catch on Saturday. If he gets sore eyes, they might not allow him to proceed with joining the team for the trip to Singapore. The timing is so uncalled for. Im definitely not happy about it and definitely sad for Czesca. Our Little Princess...may sore eyes? kawawa naman.

Note: Its the rainy season, and its a cold season virus and this... just officially amplified our chances to get infected. I cant remember the last time i had sore eyes. Bata pa ata ako nun. However,Im not excited to rekindle the experience again. I saw my brother last weekend and their sore eyes made them look like Tiyanaks. The cheeks i can bear, puffy painful red eyes-no way.

Recap

Deal or no deal na index finger ang proxy as thumb.'jump' na hindi naman tumatalon. Big girl na si Czesca. hay... Raise the volume of your voice a little and she'll plant her face on your lap or cover her face with her hands and sob. The baby griefs are really cute. Pag may kanta sa TV, especially commercials "Kering-keri " by Kim Tiu ( <--ang dalagang boses binata), she'll sing along, and though we dont really understand a word of what she's singing, palakpakan naman kami ng daddy niya "wow, very very good, super galing!". sigh.. it seemed not so long ago (but thank God its over...;p) when I was still in my last trimester of pregnancy, oggling with myself in the mirror , "ampangit pangit ko na huhuhu...ang taba taba ko na...huhuhu...ang laki laki ng ilong ko huhuhu." *( visually traumatic and physically tormenting in my case)*

anyway...next scene nasa delivery room na ako:

che (after hours of non stop complaining and whining and crying): "please doctor cesarian na lang huhuhuhu.. di ko kaya umire..ayoko na umire..huhuhu.. di ko kaya..ayoko na..huhuhu cesarian na lang kasi please"

Drs (naiinis but encouraging voice): "hindi pwede.. ayan na o. 10 cm ka na. konti na lang... nakikita ko na yung ulo"

che (hagulgol): "SINUNGALING! anung ulo? di mo kaya makikita yun eh...huhuhu di ba maliit lang yun parang dadaanan huhuhu (with matching demonstration using my hands kung gaano kaliit sa tingin ko ang passage way)

or the painful painless:

Che (numb butpsychologically hurting) :aray ko ang sakit...ang sakit..aray aray...ouchie aray.
Drs: ay nako...ikaw lang ang naka painless na umaaray. dagdagan nga ng anesthesia to.

Yes. oo maarte akong patient. oo marami akong complain. oo pinagod ko ang mga doctor. oo, shit lang naiire ko mag isa.
----------
And just a day after giving birth, I was walking on the hallway dun sa building namin,nakasalubong ko yung maid ng kapitbahay:

Neighbor's maid (smiling): ate naku malapit na yan,ilang araw na lang manganganak ka na.

Che (awkward smile back): eh nanganak na nga ako eh. tapos na ko manganak.
(deep inside- huhuhu...nanganak na nga ako eh anu ba kayo.. nanganak na ko)

Naiisip ko nga pwede na ako kumuha ng visa sa australia, bilang kangaroo.

And then there was a time, puro si Ryan lang ang gusto niya, ang kalaro niya, ang katabi niya...hay nako...happy man ako, kakainggit din. para akong left-out. ( "ah O.p! O.p!)

One time nga sinumpong ako and nagkainisan kami ni ryan: (",)

Che (seryosong slightly volume up ang boses ko dito): OO na oo na, ikaw na ang daddy, ikaw na ang mommy, happy mother's day! happy father's day!!!!

Dumaan ang mga anghel. moment of silence.
Sabay tawanan. We just laughed. :p

Hay and now she's maka-mommy naman ngayon. It's payback time. hehehe(corrrrnny mo zuno) She is our everyday wonder and she makes all my ugly duckling tormenting days during pregnancy worth it. :) I know ive probably reminisced the whole transition to motherhood many times already, but its just not possible to get over it. :) She is truly God's grace.

Ang Binyag ni Joaquin

This photo was taken last Saturday via my Nokia phone. We went to attend Dominic Joaquin Arejola's Christening. Actually we didnt make it to church, just on the lunch reception held at South wing of the Mall of Asia, China Palace Restaurant. Dominic is the son of Czesca's godfather Ninong Eric Arejola, Harbour Centre Team Manager. Anyways, Ryan's other big bosses were there including Mikee Romero. We shared the table with Coach Junel Baculi, Bernard Young, Doc Ivy as they call him , etc.

Czesca was well behaved at first, but eventually was reaching and grabbing for utensils, she threw one on the floor and it crash broke into 3 parts as it was a ceramic spoon 'bangka' for soup. I told Yaya and Ryan not to panic as we can afford to pay for the little thing. Ito namang si yaya, aba nag feeling super as if 5php lang ba ang dating nung nabasag ni Czesca? She handed Czesca another ceramic spoon to throw and when i told her to not hand it to Czesca because she might end up breaking it as well, she cooly replied with a smile "okay lang yan". nge-nge-nge. :P hahaha. Well we can afford the broken ceramic spoon but dont go on a destroying spree. :P

Czesca by our Bldg. elevator. She really wouldnt let go of the silly doll. We bought her a big one last Friday Night- as big as herself but she prefers to hug this little dolly.

Back to Restaurant events, Well Czesca walked around a lot and dragged her yaya everywhere. The problem is Yaya here does not say 'excuse me' when she's walking past other people who happens to be on their path. She just simply shoved them and nudged them. I was walking from behind and it was too late, when they bumped Eric's back making him lean his whole body forward to a table he was entertaining. Aaaah.. Disaster. I quickly apologized , to which when he turned around and saw me, said it's ok and that its no problem. A little while later, San Juan Mayor JV Ejercito was saying goodbye to the Eric's wife and Dominic when I saw Yaya and Czesca approaching, I pulled Ryan and told him " Oh nO. bubunguin nya si Mayor JV..." Luckily she didn't. :)



After the serene party, we strolled in the mall for a while. We bought Czesca her first pair of boots. Wow. It was so lovely. Plus it was on SALE. hahaha. So although we were just to buy her a pair of walking sandals that make noises when you put your weight on it, we decided , we are getting her these boots as well.


o di ba ganda? :)