Inside Out.

Sometimes it is better to drive away and not know where you are going to, than to know you are coming home to a place you find heavy in your heart to live in. It feels this way sometimes. And I ask Ryan if we can stay longer in the car. Just sitting there. (I've mentioned this before) Sometimes I imagine that the road ahead us is never ending. It is just a long drive, period. And I find myself resting. For a few moments, It will almost seem like time has stopped and there is total silence. Sorry for the seemingly depressing blog, I guess I sort of lied then when i said it usually takes more to make me cry,or it takes so much more to break me. I said I've lived my life this far and I've always been strong and I'll always be strong. If you believed that 100%, tanga! Uto uto! ;p Sleeping Beauty made me cry, Beauty and the Beast made me cry, in short, even cartoons make me cry. So dapat 99% lang, so I can vent a little every now and then.

I thought that in my life, whats hard was putting up a happy face all the time, but just now i realized, Its harder to give in to whats bothering us deep inside and let it show a little kahit minsan lang, and not be analyzed or judged. (",)

~~The last of the Drama Blogs Part III~~

Carebears VS. Critters

Why do i do that? I blog about you but then delete it a few days after.
It is not that I retract what i said.
Maybe Its because i care how you'd feel.
You obviously dont care about mine or actually you think you dont have to.
But in my case, member ako ng Carebears. So as far as there is caring concerned,I cant help it. ;p OMG Bakit hindi na lang ako naging Critters, mabalahibo din naman yun ah ;{

Minsan gusto ko mag emote, minsan wala na akong masabi, sa tinagal ng panahon, i feel like nasabi ko na lahat and there is nothing new to say and I dont want to go back to being 13 and asking the million why's. Its pointless. Ayoko ng i-bold ang mga fonts na matagal ng font size number 72 . And one more fact of life (subjectively), When you're 13, the world understands what makes you sad and symphatizes with you, but when you are 24, the world expects you to handle it (who wants to hear your drama?). So I try. and I do.

Pero kung meron pa akong hindi nasasabi sa iyo ito ay ang:

**** ka **** ka

(4 letter word is not referring to word "fuck" OR "gago" Or "shit". Hindi naman kita mumurahin noh. ;p)
haha blog na nga lang censored pa rin hahaha.
Ito na yun todo-critters wannabe na ako sa lagay na yan at this moment.
Parang Funny noh, Parang di naman ako seryoso. Pero Im serious and I cant say Im not affected.
Hindi lang ako Emo kaya Im visually colorful, kahit black pa ang suotin ko colorful pa din yun sa akin. (why be Emo? I dont need to put up a sad face wearing troubled fashion when i can still smile di ba?). You stand by your alibis a. k. a defense, but it has never justified the person you have become, as a matter of fact,we dont really understand who you are anymore, and we're just holding on to our last threads of hope: the love we have for you (naks!), the blood that flows the same in us(uy!), the care we have for each other (by the way, you wanna join permanently?) Sometimes you go back to being you which is nice, but most of the time we're missing you and you just love being high.

teka may sasabihin pa pala ako:

More than ten years should qualify you to a certificate of recognition:

**** of the decade.

This is to certify that ______ has successfully consistently provided forced independence at unstable stages and most needing times to those who look up to her/him and implemented troubled stressful lifestyles by being a living example of how to be as confused as you already are and lost as you can possibly get. Dreams are for those who sleep and Getting high is for those who dont sleep. An official go-getter, lie to those who you know loves you and get from them what you need to, then make them feel guilty about it. Congratulations! You have definitely hurt them more than the expected number of times and chances.

~~~The last of the drama blogs part II~~~

SORE EYES

aaaAAAHHHHH!!! Sore eyes. According to Ryan it hasnt spread out yet to infect the other eye, so its still contained in one eye. I dont know how Czesca is feeling. Ryan just called me on my cel, he's waiting for me at home. Im going to have to rush home, take the bus to V. Mapa then from V. Mapa, take the LRT to Recto then get a pedicab ride home.

It was acquired virally, that im very certain. Just a week and a half ago, my 2 brothers, their dad, and my mother (being the last one to get infected) had red sore eyes and i strictly kept them off our room and in contact with Czesca. My mom is nakakainis sometimes, by the time the redness of her eyes was gradually fading she kept on insisting she was fine already and was always up to touching Czesca and going into our room. Last week i was able to guard her off, but this week, because I have to be at the office, Im guessing she had her time to playing Czesca til she finally passed on the virus. AaaaHhhhh.. She knows this first hand that when sore eyes are in the stage of healing, the virus is more likely at its most contagious stage and its not like i can stop and 100% guard Czesca from touching her face and eyes which likely increase the chances of infection. I hope its not much painful for Czesca to open her eyes and blink. Yaya, Ryan and Me will be on the red alert. I cant afford to get infected as well. Not now, my schedule is fully booked. Neither can Ryan, He has a flight to catch on Saturday. If he gets sore eyes, they might not allow him to proceed with joining the team for the trip to Singapore. The timing is so uncalled for. Im definitely not happy about it and definitely sad for Czesca. Our Little Princess...may sore eyes? kawawa naman.

Note: Its the rainy season, and its a cold season virus and this... just officially amplified our chances to get infected. I cant remember the last time i had sore eyes. Bata pa ata ako nun. However,Im not excited to rekindle the experience again. I saw my brother last weekend and their sore eyes made them look like Tiyanaks. The cheeks i can bear, puffy painful red eyes-no way.