This is the Blog that doesnt end. could be.

I smeared cheetos with my thumb on page 50, and accidentally slit page 489 a little as I was turning the page of the third book. I read for most of my free time during the aftermath of Christmas. Ryan thought I was spending too much time reading on the books, straining my sleepy eyes to read more. It is fascinating and not only because it all happened to occur as one big fad these days. Actually I love a good book, good doesn’t have to mean “ incomprehensibly intelligible with vocabularies whose meaning can be found in the intergalactic webster’s dictionary if there was any " in that sense though , something interesting to me, with characters of amusing personalities and stories entwined in wonderful connections was enough. But no, I was not a fan of Harry Potter, but he was okay. But Fiction is fine by me, and my favorite is of vampires.

The Jacob character is one of those whose dialogues and parts I anticipate in the book, he makes me laugh. It’s true. But all in all they all have fascinating personalities. It's good to laugh.

I was going to continue reading, I’m on the last book now but I stopped myself, maybe the suspense or pause would do me good. I slept at 2:30am and woke up at 6:00am, with a bad stomach, I figured I carry the book with me which was not really pleasant to visualize but maybe it’s not so unthinkable either. I ended up reading by the bed until 9:30 am when I realize I had to wake up in less than a few hours to feed Czesca.

TWILIGHT SAGA FEST

Anyways, it’s almost the end of the year, actually maybe even closer. It is truly amazing how time flies but then again I think to myself that maybe it is what I want after all, for time to fly by fast. I read on my last blog last year, it was about having my teeth cleaned by the dentist and me accidentally biting on her thumb the whole time. So this time, maybe it is again going to be about my teeth.

My left wisdom tooth has been slightly impacted for the longest time; it’s been trying to force itself to sprout since I was probably 18. Seriously. It’s painful, irritating and makes me feel like my normally puffy cheeks are even puffier. Because of the frequent recurrences, I already know this would last for about 4 days or so and then go away and be back again some other time. ½ of the tooth is showing but even then it is still buried underneath my gums. I wondered why my dentist hasn’t taken it out yet, maybe she’s afraid of the many crucial nerves we might hit that It could paralyze half my face or worst, maybe result into some kind of distortion.

MISSING TOOTH FAIRY

Sometimes for literally no particular reason, I feel my heart dry up and the beating feels hard and sad. I would wonder why, maybe heartburn, but I wasn’t really aching physically. I’m not even sure if aching is the right term. Its like Optimus prime is calling the autobots from across the universe and I happen to be one, and I think im hearing a call but I don’t, that’s a close metaphor, but even I am not buying it. Okay so there maybe a particular reason but I’m definitely sticking by no particular trigger factor. It just happens. It’s like the annoying impacted wisdom tooth I have where pain just springs back and goes away on its own. Or maybe I help make it go away. It is nothing. Nothing. N o t h i n g. Convincing? its probably hormones. sneaky manipulators.

DUMBFOUNDED

I had a good year I suppose. Christmas was fine as well. Christmas was for me when I was seven and I was gullible enough to think Santa thought I was a good kid and was the one putting chocolates in my worn out school socks. Okay I exaggerated. They are not worn-out; just used. And slowly but surely while growing up, It seemed I lost Christmas altogether, it was just something I wished someone would compose for me before, and after I realized I lost it. Wow. Do I sound bitter. I know the facts, Christmas is about celebrating the coming of Jesus in our world and actually more, I respect that, but in the undeniably worldly fashion, Christmas was a universal sentiment with meanings that differ from person to person or from kid to kid. It’s not blasphemy I’m trying to do, its not like I’m saying something the world doesn’t know yet. Anyways, I don’t exactly have a point but just a redeeming heart, that there was a turning point in my life when I believed that Christmas was a special occasion once again. It was hard though, there were Christmases that came when I believed like so but then had experienced something different anyway. But its back. Christmas is for Czesca. I was determined to anticipate it with jingle-bells as the sound of my heart’s beatings. Actually I also realized that you can’t lose something you don’t own. Christmas is not mine. It was for everybody so maybe I didn’t lose it when in fact it lost me for a while back then. I am the prodigal child of this holiday. I’m glad I’m home.

LAST MINUTE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

This blog is too long, I might as well turn it into a novel myself. I doubt if anyone would go through this word per word. And that makes it a lot easier for me to exhale a lot of things in my thoughts. My thoughts. What about them. They are too many I could blog to the next galaxy and even the aliens wont be interested. Procastination is good; amazingly it doesn’t even feel that bad. Do I sound like two person right now? Im nuts. In so many ways I am.

Anyways, we are going to Rustan’s to grab something, Harvey gave us GC’s (for Czesca), but when he called the other day, I  fooled him and made him feel guilty when I said that we already went but got sent away because the GC’s were invalid due to unknown reasons  Haha Harvey was apologetic though, he told me to return the GC’s to him and he’ll change or verify it and then return it to us so we can go back to that branch of Rustan’s where we were imaginarily-denied from. Sucker. Hehehe. Peace. Peace. Happy Holidays though People!

Love, Cherryl ( the girl with too much nonsense making sense)

DEAR DIARY

Wanted New Yaya =)

Its a little sad that each Christmas we celebrate with a different yaya for Czesca. But then again at the same time, siguro it could be considered as a blessing in disguise, because more people get the chance to meet and love Czesca. Kahit pa one year one year, im pretty sure those girls loved my daughter and thats a gift that is mutually appreciated. Its also helpful in the way that maybe it allows Czesca to exercise good response towards goodbyes, and we are able to keep her from the Yaya-over-parent syndrome. Until maybe one day if we ever find one who will stay with her until she grow up siguro we'll experience that hehe. Although we dont plan to make her yaya dependent all the way, if in the case, a good yaya would come along who would want to stay longer than we expect, then we will let her stay until retirement or even until mag asawa na si Czesca if possible, simply because I wont push away people who would love Czesca that much ever.

Last year when Cris left, and Belle took up the job, Czesca kept calling her "Cris" which i think lasted for a few weeks until she became comfortable and learned to trust Belle. She wasnt really talking yet back then, except for a few words like Daddy and Cris, because she always heard us calling for Cris before. And now. Its Christmas again, Belle is leaving us on the 24th or 25th. I know for sure Czesca is going to miss her, because kids are kids,but it doesnt mean they wont notice when you leave. So I expect Czesca to be asking a lot of "san si Belle?" and expecting myself to say a lot " umuwi na sa kanila sort of stories" Because as we all know, the little bruha is very talkative now. Ngayon pa lang nga, we are little by little explaining to her the transition phase after Belle leaves. Mommy will be hands on muna..which is also good for me na rin kasi pag may pasok, i cant really spend time with her so ngayon bakasyon, full time guluhan kami.

It must be a little painful also for yayas when they leave. Especially when they have grown to love the kid, like there must be a stinging in the heart to know that you will never again make your alaga laugh, never again have to change their diapers,have to listen and keep up to their boggling kakulitan and siguro for the yaya who loved her alaga, the most painful would be to know that in the future, they might not even be remembered at all.

But wherever our ex-yayas go, i wish them more fortune and good bosses and happiness in whatever they decide to do with their lives.

Anyways, again we are in search of the world for another person we can trust the care of our daughter to. Above all, someone who would love her and keep her safety and happiness,as number 1 priority.

Hello new yaya whoever you would be. =)

MAHIWAGANG BENTE PESOS

The culture of being jeepney passengers include that when you are sitting farther from the jeepney driver seat, you will have to make your payment (unless you are lastikman) by asking the person sitting ahead of you to pass it forward, which as if programmed already to our DNA, comes about automatically most of the time. Now I’ve had my awkward moments on the jeepney-ride-experience. From falling asleep with my mouth wide open to irrelevantly loudly announcing the change of another passenger as I handed it to them “CHANGE NIYO PO, 5 PESOS PO” because I was at that time zombish-exhausted, coming off from work during my very short cashier stint (where it is preferred that you announce the amount of cash you receive and hand out to customers) in a fast food chain store way back when I was younger.

The other day, the experience just got another addition. I was with a friend, who sat across where I was and we were chatting. This lady behind me said “bayad po” so my commuter-instinct came on and I turned to reach for her money so that I can pass it to the driver when to our surprise she quickly held it back close to her chest with both hands clasped on the 20 peso bill as if it was a 2 million cash cheque. I swear I saw a little panic in her eyes.

I reacted quite amused, We sort of laughed (Lyle and I)and I just had to ask her “ Ayaw mo?” while still extending my hand for her 20 peso bill. “Lyle ayaaaw???” I rethorically asked my friend. The seemingly paranoid lady eventually let go of the pseudo-2 million paper money which I immediately pocketed hahaha, deh joke, I passed it to the driver shempre. I don’t know if she thought hoodlum ako but I thought she looked more like the part. Haha Im just being mean. Sorry. It just didn’t feel nice to be mistaken as a 20-peso-bill-snatching-student-nurse (am I that obvious, hehe joke!), but then again it was definitely funny at that moment.

I remember that time when I slept over at a friend’s house (kareen’s) and I woke up almost late for school (CSB days), I was really hurrying and just hopped on to a jeep when this other girl my age kept staring at me, suspiciously staring, and definitely disturbingly staring. Finally I coldly asked her “ Ano?” to which she informed me that I had my shirt inside-out. Ngak.

Or how about that time, when this long haired lice-full of head sat in front of me and I kept trying to stay cautious of her hair strands from touching my face. And praying her lice maintain very strong grips until I get off the ride.

Jeepney rides. And you thought you could just get into one and get off at your destination that simple each time. You think the only thing you get to leave when you get off with is the smell of jeepney fumes overpowering the scent of your shampoo and cologne, you think you can inhale too much CFC’s, take too much traffic, the rubbing of the legs (hay), the cramming inside, the loud disco music, the knee-bend walk inside, the blank staring, etc.

Short stories happen here, the little tv-commercials of our lives, and Im glad they came along.

PS: For real transportation goons of 20-peso bills and above,please magbagong buhay na kayo, you traumatize, terrorize and you are wasting your character away.  Para naman sa mga commuters, you could be me, mukhang goon pero hindeh, joke! assess with taste naman jan kasi. Hahaha.