BEERS ARE BETTER THAN GIRLS YOU SAY. gago.

There is no best time to meet yourself than when you dont know who you are,no best time to find yourself than when you dont know where you are and no best time to know where you are going than when you are lost, and no other best time to find the strength in your heart than when you are completely weak.

You dont have to be a genius to understand what i mean, you only have to want to survive.
and You just have to stop being stupid.
I dont even have to tell you what to do next, stop waiting for someone else to save you and save yourself now.
It is not that i am not sympathetic, i am, but there are things you need to hear other than how damaged you are.

If you are torn to pieces, stitch yourself.
If you dont know where to start. ask yourself where you are right now literally and start there.


Like I always say....
Life will always hit you where it hurts, if that keeps surprising you, you will die young.

If you survive this, ma - rerealize mo, there is more to life than the world you trapped yourself in.
and for the things you were not, for the things you were...learn to do the hardest of it all.
Forgive yourself.

kelan mo maiintindihan that the worth you give yourself, is the only true worth you will always be, until you learn to value you yourself more.

if anybody says i dont know what its like, ill kick them in the face.( pero luhod kayo ha kasi hindi ko kaya sumipa ng mataas.)
If you need anything else, I'll be there.

Cyberlife

I google. I friendster. I multiply. I youtube. I blogspot. and so on...Internet is so imminent in my life that Url Addresses have become 'Verbs' in my vocabulary.

Laki sa Lola

Last Sunday was grandparent's day.
I was able to greet my Amah who is now residing in Florida.

Ang Lola ko at ako...
Here are a few memories:

* Watching Chinese Films in a very old Chinese Theatre in Ongpin.Sa sobrang luma na, kami na lang dalawa ang nanunuod.This place was torn down and we know it now as the "Presidents Restaurant."

* 1 peso per chinese word spoken. 2 Peso per throwing the trash out. 1 peso per using of chopsticks instead of spoon and forks while eating. Evertyhing is business hahaha :P Chinese way. dati pa ito ha... nung mga 6 years old pa lang ako :)

* At the height of cellphone popularity, I was not allowed to own one up until i was already in my senior year in high school. Hindi na uso ang 32-10 noon ang uso yung mga 82-10 Nokia phones. Jologs na rin ang may antenna na phone. and my amah gave me ....for my first celphone ever my own Alcatel ala safeguard social suicide phone. :P shempre i love it, ma hu-hurt si amah pag hindeh. haha yun nga lang super tinatago ko na lang sa bulsa or sa bag pag nasa school ako hehehe.

* Minsan naman pag uwi ko naabutan ko siya sa rocking chair, may kinakalikot siyang Nokia 61-10. by then college na ako sa UST. Extinct na ang ganoong phone noon, alam ko na nga para sa akin yun eh, kasi nakangiti na siya, tapos isa isa niyang pinagmamalaki sa akin yung features ng cel, sabi niya" wow ang ganda neto...may phonebook.. at high tech may calendar pa" (spoken in chinese fukien) , shempre kailangan shock na shock ako sabi ko nga " wow oo nga noh... wow thank you amah.." :) nakakatuwa talaga yun. Hey its always the thought that counts!!!

* Pag may sakit ako akala mo death stage na ako eh, todo di matutulog yan, aircon, at ang walang kamatayang 7-UP (buhay na buhay si Fido Dido sa buhay ko noon ;p) at Ma-hu (yun parang brown na dry na coarse strips na nilalagay sa lugaw). Mega massage sa ulo and sa back and sa kung saan saan pa na nangangalay.

* Everytime mag fly back siya to US, parang panic buying tinatambakan niya ako ng mga favorite ko, pork n beans, shampoo, toothpaste, pati nga napkin eh, parang pang 1 year supply.

* Haha yan kasi si amah, minsan pag nag ca-casino or mahjong di na yan umuuwi, so one night i thought di na siya uuwi so mega feel na feel ko mag gugulong sa kama, hephep 'PAK!!!' nagising na lang ako nang mag landing sa mukha ng lola ko ang kamay ko. umupo nga ako kaagad at sabi ko sa kanya " im sorry ama...sorry" at si amah alam niyo ano ginawa? very forgiving...Walang sabi sabi, gumising, umupo, at sinapak din ako sa mukha bago humiga ulit at natulog...waaaaahhh iyak talaga ko noon. ;p

* Minsan naman may earthquake noon, nasa terrace kami. Sabi niya" Bilis halika dito". at ako naman ewan ko ba, medyo natatawa ako kasi yung mga kapitbahay namin kumapit sa wall na parang mga butiki, finally lumapit na ako kay amah at sabi ko "amah....kung mamamatay ...mamamatay" sabay "PAK!!!!" sinampal ako ni amah at inalog alog ako at sinabing nasasapian daw ako ng masamang spirit... o di ba? :P ahahaaha ;p

Actually marami pang iba....
Si amah one time sabi niya " Naiinggit na mga pinsan mo sayo, bakit sila di ko pinapaaral etc etc...ikaw oo. mabuti pa pabayaan na rin kita..."

I said " o di sige..alam mo amah.., maraming meron sila, and ayaw naman nila mag aral, ako ikaw lang meron ako, ikaw nag aalaga sa kin, kung wala ka na...wala na rin ako..."
Ang dramaa!!! hehehe ;p
Happy Grandparents Day!!!

wait for me, fly kami jan...:) you just wait!

ERAP : GUILTY OF PLUNDER case

ERAP PARA SA MAHIRAP (his popular slogan) was convicted not guilty of Perjury but Guilty of Plunder. Life imprisonment equivalent to 20-40 years of imprisonment. Today is a big day for both Erap Supporters and anti-Eraps a.ka. Pro-Gloria mostly. I am in the office right now listening to Korina Sanchez on the Radio on news for updates on the decisions, feedbacks and replay of the said conviction. It has been around 6 years already since Former President Erap Estrada started waiting inside his cell for this Judgement day and today, tears are welling up in his eyes and flowing from the eyes of his family.

Senator Miriam Santiago said President Arroyo can issue a pardon right after conviction if she wants or Erap can pay atleast 3 more years before he can plea for bail on good behavior- something like that kind of pardon. Or they can file for a Motion for Reconsideration which can probably drag the case further until 2010, which the lawyers of Erap said will probably be formally filed before the 27th of September this year. But Senator Miriam Santiago stressed that since the verdict was unanimous beyond reasonable doubt, filing it would be useless.

I dont know if I am pro-Erap or not, but i cant say Im happy with the results of the verdict. Mixed emotions. If he is guilty which the court said he was, it is only just that he be responsible for his crime, but it just doesnt feel completely right. Although the peso-dollar rate reacted positively due to this verdict.

Anyway they allowed Erap Estrada to not be transported to Muntinlupa immediately, He can still go back to Tanay, Rizal first. He is at present still in the courtroom, which they temporarily made the holding area for the former President.

Former President Erap Estrada quoted "I subjected myself to this court and against the advice of my friends" something like that- hinting a slight regret over the action he has decided to take during that first box when he could have just fled the country or did something else other than submit himself to public degradation and imprisonment only to find himself in injustice in the end.

Admittedly,I was among the people who mocked Erap's intellectual capacity when jokes about him were very much popular. I can still remember one of my favorite jokes:

Erap: Ang galing ko talaga

Pinoy: bakit po?

Erap: Itong Puzzle nabuo ko at natapos ko for only 3 months!

Pinoy: ah ganun ba?

Erap: Eh eto o nakalagay sa box "FOR 3YRS and above"

It is not so amusing now.

It is only now that I realized that Erap is not a joke.

and that almost everyone in the government is corrupt one way or another, it is just a matter of when they catch you if they catch you.

But it doesnt mean they are entirely evil or that they are not entirely evil.

Cleanliness, Purity and Morality is rare and most blurred especially when accompanied with Power.

Ryan is back.

I keep forgetting to ask for the pictures he took while he was there in Brunei.

He turned up at the office, Monday afternoon.
Then we had dinner at Sizzler's. I missed pigging out with Ryan.

Masarap yung mga dala nyang Malaysian Pancit Canton. Which he had to fetch back at the airport kasi naiwan niya due to pagaalala because Czesca was sick.
The chocolates etc. yummy.
Czesca's Ninong, Ninong Erick bought Czesca a really fancy top and skirt. Ryan picked it out himself.. hmm.. not bad... not bad at all. posh and classy.

Grabeh the world doesnt stop to relax at all, Ryan is back to running errands for the team and coaching the kids at Grace Christian High School.

The kids have a game tomorrow and i'm going to watch. Im taking Zoe, im pulling out him off the computer seat and saving his eyes from early eye sight problems.


By the way, I finally decided to join the Multiply community also.
just saying. ill blog again soon.
I have been busy the whole week, Czesca being sick and Ryan just getting back. :)

Dental Health Problem

My left wisdom tooth is impacted. Over the years i have blindly hoped that one day it will just sprout out smoothly and be fine but its been 4 years and it still tortures me every now and then. The attack of pain is unpredictable, most of the time it feels okay, meaning i feel no whatsoever pain, but when it does, it stays on for a week of extra puffy left cheek with annoying pain. Biting is just as painful. I thought i can neglect it forever (although having it extracted has come to mind more than twice already,but that was when i still didnt have an idea of how the extraction is being done and now i certainly know) until it felt swollen again since last night. Even gulping down liquid is uncomfortable. There is a twitch also to my left eye whenever it becomes too painful.

So I looked it up on the net this afternoon. And found out that i have to have it removed asap before it gets fully mature and more painful plus the high risks of complications. Expenses again. It is our birthdays on the last week of September, House bills are to arrive by next week. etc etc. And Im guessing the surgery would be more than 10k itself. AAAAh most probably. Also, so much for the dental braces plan, i have to fix my wisdom tooth first...Anyways, I called a certain oral surgeon up but she was not in her office, ill call her again tomorrow. I am to take antibiotics for 7 days prior to surgery to minimize risk of bacteria during the time of operation. Im thinking of opting to be sedated when the procedure is up, i am super scared.

Having an impacted wisdom tooth removed is not the same as having a decayed tooth extracted. I saw on the internet that they break it down to 3 parts by drilling it (correct me if im wrong) before they pull it out, while having regular extraction is simply pulling of the teeth out. I dont know what to expect. I have low pain tolerance. The thought of someone digging through my teeth, my gums, excavating my mouth is scary enough. Im thinking of asking for my mom's financial aid this time, Im going to ask her when i get home, first i am to buy her that gold cellphone strap she so wants to lubricate the future tee-hee, Im doubtful she'll help me with the money issue but im taking my chances. It'll like bring down oral anxiety to 70%. ;)

Come Night come.(that part of the day)

i feel like im slowly dreading mornings, and that im always running out of time.
will you be my shrink just for this time?
No im not loving the night for the crazy things people can do at night.
I love it because it is the only time i can be home.
home with my family and home with myself.
home to do things i want to.
I am either overly dramatic or just wishing i could have time to do things that i really want.
things that for me define the word life in my own vocabulary.
Life for one,in my vocabulary , is spending time with people i love.

every night i wish, it could stay a little longer and keep me home.