I Am Not Eskandalosa

Episodes of psychotic convulsions and seemingly demonic exorcisms, these are the other spices of our lives. Minsan gusto ko ng basagin ang ulo ni Ryan, and siguro gusto na niya akong bali-balian ng buto at patunugin na parang chicharon. And in the heat of any dense argument and in the verge of our stubbornness, the unexpected (turned knowingly-expected due to frequency of its occasion now) will happen. We will burst out laughing. I don’t know what’s so hilarious, because it’s not funny at all, pero yun tawa naman kami ng tawa. I knew it. Praning. And the peak of our rage will not just mellow down, it will simply disappear like it was never there. I believe we will never fully understand the transition.

Love na naman. I’m a one-girl-boy-band. (gulo noh…girl na nga one pa,,,boy band pa?)

Inatake ako ng hormones last Saturday:
“Im not eskandalosa” I thought. I could walk out calmly and may etiquette ako.
I took a fast gulp from the bottle of mineral water on my right hand as if it was beer.
I was on the escalator going down and he was up by the floor where I walked out on him, looking down on me by the railings, wooing me to calm my senses and go back up.
He was wooing me with his clueless-of-what-he-did-wrong-face... after he got me so mad, after he was mad. Abnoy from the planet of the apes! I swear sinadya niya munang pikunin ako. I threatened to throw at him the almost empty plastic bottle of water on my hand, to which he dared to laugh. AHHH. I snapped. I stopped thinking and just threw the bottle of water in the air, while I was still on the escalator. When it left my grasp however, I realized what I did (uh-oh), and when it did not go in the direction where I targeted it to go (Ryan’s laughing face), regret sunk in when I remembered ‘what goes up, will go down’.
I covered my head with my hands and just prayed it won’t land on someone else’s head and get my ass sued.(Nasa greenbelt ako hellow. Pag nasa Divisoria naman malamang nasaksak na ako.) It plummeted like a wild cranking solid piece of plastic, bouncing off the escalator handrail, ahead of me down to the floor I was descending to. I saw the guards rushed to it, but I picked it up before them.

Guard 1: Ma’am binato niyo?

CHE: “No hindeh, bakit ko naman ibabato?”

Guard 1: (with apologetic smile) ah sorry po. ang lakas lang po kasi ng bagsak hehe

Che: (smile din ako) ah ok lang, nabitawan ko kasi e hehe.

Kapal muks kong tiningnan ang mga reaksyon ng tao behind me during the escalator ride. Thank God walang tinamaan. I took the escalator up and Ryan was still laughing. AAAHHHH!Badong ka talaga Labylab” Ayoko man aminin, oo na Kainis. “oo na. Natawa na rin ako. I am nuts. Mixed-nuts. We had a big dinner and bought some stuffs at landmark then umuwi na..tawa tawa lang. mga baliw!

This is why they say Patience is a virtue.
And I am done with Lesson One.
I am not Eskandalosa.

love me the way i are Part III

Greatest Nonsense of It All

Is my soul nocturnal?~ Or maybe just plain ungrateful. I see you more when it is dark.

"To put the alcohol cap back on it after using it" that was i think my only new year's resolution for myself. Im not even sure if i meant it. And If i recall correctly kasi, I also blogged last January that for a change i dont want to change. But siguro that was wrong for me to say so. I hope its not too late for me though. There is always room for a good change.-hindi lang natin sure kung there is always a time. Being less impatient, for instance (among many others..;p tsk tsk tsk). Nagiging ungrateful pa ako. Blessings have been raining on us and I welcomed it as if God owed it to me. WALASTIK! ang kapal ko. I missed the essence of the blessings. That Blessings are not rewards and that God does not owe me anything. They are God's grace. And God's grace is all that I truly have. -before you think another thought- Siguro naman I am obliged to have a kunsensya and a chance to be grateful.. no hindi po ako biglang naging relihiyosa, hindi po ako biglang naging feeling special. I already know Im not a exactly a good Christian, so huwag niyo na lang akong tularan. :) Ako kasi,I blog about all kinds of nonsense, trying to make sense of every detail of life that makes its mark on my head. I forgot to make sense of God's love when it is the most nonsense of all in my life. BLASPHEMOUS? kasi patapusin muna ako. It is nonsense because I am too stupid to understand God's love. It is nonsense because I am too undeserving yet there it is, always healing me from time to time. It is the only nonsense in this world that I will never be thankful enough. The only nonsense I truly need in my life :) Maraming maraming salamat po Big J.

Holy holy week.

Lagi pong tandaan: If we are in perfect happiness, It is God's grace. If we are in deep shit (nice choice of words noh?) It is God's greatest times in our life, do not overlook that.

* To God: if I do not live up to daring thoughts i say. First of all, because i cannot exorcize myself out of being the sinner that I am, as it is so hard, so terribly hard,at siguro inutil ako. It is with all my heart that i thank you for giving me a lifetime to try to do so (regardless how long or how short), no matter how many times I have already failed you and myself. When in my fear and shame , i just want to let go, like the many times i have almost given you up,and even when people have given up on me, you remind me that You are God, that you will never give up on me. ;p Maraming Salamat Po.

note: "no disrespect meant in any way. hope no reader should ever misunderstand.

Aking Ang English KO

"Good evening...the question is what role did your family play to you as candidate to Binibining Pilipinas?"

"well...my family's role for me is.. sooo important, because there was the, deer/dear/they’re.... they was the one whose.... very...hahah oh.. im so sorry my pamily...my family...oh my God...im...ok...,im so sorry...i told you that im so confident...eto...ahm...wait...ahahahahaha...ahm sorry guys.. because this was really my (f)Pirst pageant ever, bec im only 17 yrs old, and ah..i did not expect that i came from...i came from one of the top ten,..but i said.. that...my family is the most important persons in my life...thank you"

***DISASTER***

 So although her answer did wrap up at nonsense-at-its-best, and setting aside whether there has been magic brewing between the judges and the final results, I think there was a glimpse of good character in that crucial moment which amplified her chances.And I agree with the audience, her gibberish answer could not have given her the crown, so maybe character did. Just maybe. However, listen to Ruffa , (Janina) you have 7 months to sharpen up, maybe we'll just need to focus on presence of the mind next time. (one order of finely spiced cerebral action please ;) )

Hahaha ;p. I remember watching MR & MS. UST before. (Original Frosh days ko toh)
Note: No disrespect to Thomasians, ~being a former thomasian din once~
Ms. College of Fine Arts (no school year to be given) was on the stand.

Q: If you where to travel abroad, where do you want to go and why?
A: ahhh..(she looked like she’s thinking deep)

After some time…

A: Ahh. If where to travel abroad,…I…would like to go to the Philippines…because the Philippines have many beautiful places and rich in natural resources (something like that I swear)

Q: No…No…I mean If you were to travel abroad…where would you want to go?

A: (Looked like naguluhan)

Q: Other than the Philippines, where else would you want to go? And why?

A: Ah.. you mean… international?

Q: Ah yes…out of the country…

A: Ah… ah… I would like to go to…ah no…Norway, because mom I promise I will take you there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKwmseoKFCo&feature=related (youtube link to her video)