Dear Ate Charo part II

Finally nag nursing na ako pero wala na raw demand. ang badong talaga ng script ng buhay ko. However, I still wouldnt skip a day of my life. Naisip ko, kahit maging malungkot pa o mahirap, sa palagay ko my life will always be beautiful and makulay. Every piece is special (agree?). Minsan naisip ko rin na panu kung mamatay ako ng maaga. (emote. Tapos naman na ang Nov. 1) una sabi ko wag sana, pero nung huli sabi ko...malamang wag pa rin. Pero kung no choice, siguro dapat isipin ko na rin na perfect naman na ang lahat, wag lang ako mamatay in the ff manners:
1. ma murder, ma massacre, ma hostel, ma hills have eyes
2. ma accident
3. malunod, masunog
4. mabangungot, ma impacho
5. mahulog sa bangin face first
6. madulas sa c.r at mabagok na walang damit at hindi nakapag exercise.
7. malason, masaksak, mabulunan, mamatay sa init ng araw, etc etc

Parang gusto ko ng maging immortal. hehehe sabi nga ni Czesca habang nanunuod kami ng D y o s a:
Czesca "mommy ikaw ba yun?" (tinuro si anne curtisssss)
Ryan (tawa ng tawa) "ngeh ang saya naman nung isa jan kung siya yan"
Ako "Oo Czesca, ako yun, mommy nga yan"
Czesca "asan ako jan?"
Aba ambisyosa din.
Ako " ayun ka nasa kwarto ka, baka tulog ka"
Ang cute pa ni Czesca, kagabi kinakausap niya yung elmo doll niya eh
sabi ko kasi "pupunta dito sa bahay si elmo-big, wala siyang damit, anu susuotin niya?"
sumagot naman tong isa, as if reassuring elmo
Czesca: "buy kita bago damit plastic elmo"
Natawa ako, kasi plastic nga naman ang damit ni Elmo namin, binalot ko kasi sa plastic cover kasi mashado mabalahibo.little badong din pala.

Mabalik tayo sa usapang dead. Sabi ko nga kay ka,
ako : pag namatay ako pagawan mo ako ng bulaklak, lagyan mo ng "from your secret admirer heath ledger"

aba kokontra pa

sabi sa akin "patay na kaya si heath ledger"
wala kasing pakelamanan.gusto ko eh. lagyan mo kung di magmumulto ako.

Sa totoo, death is no laughing matter, i should know this much, kasi when my sister died at age of almost 3, every second of watching her die infront of me, was like a minute off from life itself. Every second lasted forever and yet it ran out so fast. It seemed so unreal but it is still as real now as it was that night. Sweet dreams Rain. Sweet dreams.

A Day without Rain...

August 22. Why do we commemorate someone's death? is it simply beacuse we cannot forget?

Its been 4 years since she died.


All the rivers flow to the Sea
Yet the Sea never become full
But to the place where they Go...
The river keeps on flowing.
-Ecclesiastes 1:7


sometimes when i pray.. i tend to fall asleep half way.
or Sometimes Im just trying to pray. Most times, my prayers are light and other times they are too dark.

But there are prayers we mean, we mean to the heart ...
I remember...
I never begged for a bigger miracle.. than for my sister to live.
Watching her gasping and forcing herself. .

It was moments i would never even in my nightmares dream my sister would have to go through...

Lord I do not know the reasons why ...
but behind my doubts is a trusting heart..
that You are God... A God who is just.
And that You.. have plans for us.
And that everyone has a purpose.
That where.. You have taken my sister is a far better place than here.

--Achie. ( Same prayer for 4 years. same prayer)

We Miss you...