Wanted New Yaya =)

Its a little sad that each Christmas we celebrate with a different yaya for Czesca. But then again at the same time, siguro it could be considered as a blessing in disguise, because more people get the chance to meet and love Czesca. Kahit pa one year one year, im pretty sure those girls loved my daughter and thats a gift that is mutually appreciated. Its also helpful in the way that maybe it allows Czesca to exercise good response towards goodbyes, and we are able to keep her from the Yaya-over-parent syndrome. Until maybe one day if we ever find one who will stay with her until she grow up siguro we'll experience that hehe. Although we dont plan to make her yaya dependent all the way, if in the case, a good yaya would come along who would want to stay longer than we expect, then we will let her stay until retirement or even until mag asawa na si Czesca if possible, simply because I wont push away people who would love Czesca that much ever.

Last year when Cris left, and Belle took up the job, Czesca kept calling her "Cris" which i think lasted for a few weeks until she became comfortable and learned to trust Belle. She wasnt really talking yet back then, except for a few words like Daddy and Cris, because she always heard us calling for Cris before. And now. Its Christmas again, Belle is leaving us on the 24th or 25th. I know for sure Czesca is going to miss her, because kids are kids,but it doesnt mean they wont notice when you leave. So I expect Czesca to be asking a lot of "san si Belle?" and expecting myself to say a lot " umuwi na sa kanila sort of stories" Because as we all know, the little bruha is very talkative now. Ngayon pa lang nga, we are little by little explaining to her the transition phase after Belle leaves. Mommy will be hands on muna..which is also good for me na rin kasi pag may pasok, i cant really spend time with her so ngayon bakasyon, full time guluhan kami.

It must be a little painful also for yayas when they leave. Especially when they have grown to love the kid, like there must be a stinging in the heart to know that you will never again make your alaga laugh, never again have to change their diapers,have to listen and keep up to their boggling kakulitan and siguro for the yaya who loved her alaga, the most painful would be to know that in the future, they might not even be remembered at all.

But wherever our ex-yayas go, i wish them more fortune and good bosses and happiness in whatever they decide to do with their lives.

Anyways, again we are in search of the world for another person we can trust the care of our daughter to. Above all, someone who would love her and keep her safety and happiness,as number 1 priority.

Hello new yaya whoever you would be. =)

MAHIWAGANG BENTE PESOS

The culture of being jeepney passengers include that when you are sitting farther from the jeepney driver seat, you will have to make your payment (unless you are lastikman) by asking the person sitting ahead of you to pass it forward, which as if programmed already to our DNA, comes about automatically most of the time. Now I’ve had my awkward moments on the jeepney-ride-experience. From falling asleep with my mouth wide open to irrelevantly loudly announcing the change of another passenger as I handed it to them “CHANGE NIYO PO, 5 PESOS PO” because I was at that time zombish-exhausted, coming off from work during my very short cashier stint (where it is preferred that you announce the amount of cash you receive and hand out to customers) in a fast food chain store way back when I was younger.

The other day, the experience just got another addition. I was with a friend, who sat across where I was and we were chatting. This lady behind me said “bayad po” so my commuter-instinct came on and I turned to reach for her money so that I can pass it to the driver when to our surprise she quickly held it back close to her chest with both hands clasped on the 20 peso bill as if it was a 2 million cash cheque. I swear I saw a little panic in her eyes.

I reacted quite amused, We sort of laughed (Lyle and I)and I just had to ask her “ Ayaw mo?” while still extending my hand for her 20 peso bill. “Lyle ayaaaw???” I rethorically asked my friend. The seemingly paranoid lady eventually let go of the pseudo-2 million paper money which I immediately pocketed hahaha, deh joke, I passed it to the driver shempre. I don’t know if she thought hoodlum ako but I thought she looked more like the part. Haha Im just being mean. Sorry. It just didn’t feel nice to be mistaken as a 20-peso-bill-snatching-student-nurse (am I that obvious, hehe joke!), but then again it was definitely funny at that moment.

I remember that time when I slept over at a friend’s house (kareen’s) and I woke up almost late for school (CSB days), I was really hurrying and just hopped on to a jeep when this other girl my age kept staring at me, suspiciously staring, and definitely disturbingly staring. Finally I coldly asked her “ Ano?” to which she informed me that I had my shirt inside-out. Ngak.

Or how about that time, when this long haired lice-full of head sat in front of me and I kept trying to stay cautious of her hair strands from touching my face. And praying her lice maintain very strong grips until I get off the ride.

Jeepney rides. And you thought you could just get into one and get off at your destination that simple each time. You think the only thing you get to leave when you get off with is the smell of jeepney fumes overpowering the scent of your shampoo and cologne, you think you can inhale too much CFC’s, take too much traffic, the rubbing of the legs (hay), the cramming inside, the loud disco music, the knee-bend walk inside, the blank staring, etc.

Short stories happen here, the little tv-commercials of our lives, and Im glad they came along.

PS: For real transportation goons of 20-peso bills and above,please magbagong buhay na kayo, you traumatize, terrorize and you are wasting your character away.  Para naman sa mga commuters, you could be me, mukhang goon pero hindeh, joke! assess with taste naman jan kasi. Hahaha.

BoYPALPAK

If in the case it doesnt get published in our school paper due to lack of space as i was told. Because its going to be more like a newsletter and not really broadsheet type. Sayang naman so I decided I'll just post it here. I submitted this article last sem. Its my thoughts on life reflecting some of my ideals.( I know that most of the time, I blog about only funny things that happens to me, but its simply because I also read back on my blogs and i guess that whenever i do, i want to be reminded of happy thoughts, because often its the pains in our lives that are easier to remember,right? and the world is already full of that, so I want to contribute something else. I also hope that when people read pass them, it can evoke smiles (haha ambitious!), but its just so that this happy thoughts will no longer be mine alone forever. Its out of a good heart, promise ) So here goes:

Boy Palpak; Changing Your Stars.

Cherryl Zuno

The world may size you up based on the mistakes you have committed, judge your capacity based on the wrong turns you have taken and envisage your future based on your past, but your heart shall tell you they are mistaken because we are not what life makes of us, we are what we make out of life, all we need to do is find the courage to have faith. It is factual to say it is easier said than done, when sometimes it feels like life will always hit you where it will hurt, break you when you are already shattered, blind you when it is already dark and lose you when you are already lost but if you trust your heart and you pick yourself up no matter how hard the blows, you will always find yourself, still standing.

It all sounds cliché, but it is true. People are not merely hindered and limited by their errors but mostly by what they believe it has made them become. Thus it is important that we remember who we are and that we are more than our mistakes. So Instead of regrets, learn; instead of self-pity, forgive; and instead of moving on, do better. In this way, live your life and not the other way around. It will not mean that life from then on will be cherries and perfect, sure, even when you do this, mistakes, disappointments, failures and a series of heartaches will still follow you where the road is slippery and then the world may once again size you up even worst but if you keep your faith, you will always find your way back.

Everyday we make decisions in our lives, and it’s not hard to eventually make a wrong one, but it is definitely not easier to always make the right ones. We have to understand that bad things happen, it messes up our lives but it should not mess us up.

An eight year old girl once said that things will someday change for the better; she watched as everything around her collapsed domino style and she heard them when they said nothing good and nothing much can come out of such a chaotic life. Going through some dark alleys of life growing up, she learned that at times you will reach out for anybody but nobody will be there and that even you will tire out of trying to understand why things happen when they do, that it is hard to be good when everything else has gone bad and hard to see the right choices when they are not even there. ‘She’ll be lost forever’ whispers alleged.

Let us find out if they were right. How do you change your stars when every night is starless? ~ Seek them in your eyes, don’t let their glow die. This girl is in fact yours truly, still learning, still forgiving and definitely doing better.

It is God’s grace that he routes our lives in sometimes the most complicated ways. It is after all in our greatest adversities that we truly learn to recognize the most beautiful things. So although life is not perfect, live it, simply because it is yours.

haha medyo baduy ata yung third and second to the last paragraph...but its true. hahaha

Originally composed Last July 12, 2008

Dear Ate Charo part II

Finally nag nursing na ako pero wala na raw demand. ang badong talaga ng script ng buhay ko. However, I still wouldnt skip a day of my life. Naisip ko, kahit maging malungkot pa o mahirap, sa palagay ko my life will always be beautiful and makulay. Every piece is special (agree?). Minsan naisip ko rin na panu kung mamatay ako ng maaga. (emote. Tapos naman na ang Nov. 1) una sabi ko wag sana, pero nung huli sabi ko...malamang wag pa rin. Pero kung no choice, siguro dapat isipin ko na rin na perfect naman na ang lahat, wag lang ako mamatay in the ff manners:
1. ma murder, ma massacre, ma hostel, ma hills have eyes
2. ma accident
3. malunod, masunog
4. mabangungot, ma impacho
5. mahulog sa bangin face first
6. madulas sa c.r at mabagok na walang damit at hindi nakapag exercise.
7. malason, masaksak, mabulunan, mamatay sa init ng araw, etc etc

Parang gusto ko ng maging immortal. hehehe sabi nga ni Czesca habang nanunuod kami ng D y o s a:
Czesca "mommy ikaw ba yun?" (tinuro si anne curtisssss)
Ryan (tawa ng tawa) "ngeh ang saya naman nung isa jan kung siya yan"
Ako "Oo Czesca, ako yun, mommy nga yan"
Czesca "asan ako jan?"
Aba ambisyosa din.
Ako " ayun ka nasa kwarto ka, baka tulog ka"
Ang cute pa ni Czesca, kagabi kinakausap niya yung elmo doll niya eh
sabi ko kasi "pupunta dito sa bahay si elmo-big, wala siyang damit, anu susuotin niya?"
sumagot naman tong isa, as if reassuring elmo
Czesca: "buy kita bago damit plastic elmo"
Natawa ako, kasi plastic nga naman ang damit ni Elmo namin, binalot ko kasi sa plastic cover kasi mashado mabalahibo.little badong din pala.

Mabalik tayo sa usapang dead. Sabi ko nga kay ka,
ako : pag namatay ako pagawan mo ako ng bulaklak, lagyan mo ng "from your secret admirer heath ledger"

aba kokontra pa

sabi sa akin "patay na kaya si heath ledger"
wala kasing pakelamanan.gusto ko eh. lagyan mo kung di magmumulto ako.

Sa totoo, death is no laughing matter, i should know this much, kasi when my sister died at age of almost 3, every second of watching her die infront of me, was like a minute off from life itself. Every second lasted forever and yet it ran out so fast. It seemed so unreal but it is still as real now as it was that night. Sweet dreams Rain. Sweet dreams.

Dancer Ako. Starting Kagabi.

Dancer ako. DANCER.

Sumayaw ako ng “break the ice”. Wala namang choreo. Kung anu-ano lang. At ang body movements.......... Ro-Bo-Tic. Hahaha At Iniipit ko lang sa shorts ko yung ipod kasi walang bulsa. (Pag nag speakers,mabubuking nila ako sa bahay.) Masaya rin ha. Kahit autistic ang dating Tumigil na lang ako when something in me snapped. (other than my brains, that is.) Ang masaklap hindi buto, parang bituka ko nalaglag. Panu ba naman, shempre when you’re alone, nobody there to be awkward of, nagpaka pure energy ako. Sayang din ang exercise. ARAY!, It was so painful, it kept me lying on my stomach for a good few minutes. I tried elevating my legs, sitting, lying on my back and standing still pero mas sumakit. Pero shempre, Pag labas ng kwarto…parang walang nangyari.(Pag tinanong bakit pawis, mainit lang kasi)- I slept with a handful of stop-pain ointment applied to my lower back that night. Experience enjoyed. Lesson learned. Dancer ako in my dreams.

Usually kasi we don’t have that same amount of courage when nobody is looking, than when someone is actually watching us. To cut it short, what im saying is,whatever it is you want to do with your life. Whether it be silly or sillier, hopefully not something evil though,..do better than me. Just do it, it could put you in mental hospital who knows. joke. Hindeh its just to say, we should try to enjoy life more di ba. Its already a stressful world, we need you to make it more stressful...hehehe naprapraning over here.

Minsan talaga masamang maiwan mag isa.

At sa totoo wala akong point. Nagkwento lang ako.

Goodnight.

Balatan

No More Glutathione questions please. The answer is No. It is still entirely & definitely humbly DNA heritage. And certainly, it’s not all rainbows; there are also rains to being this white (and I’m not even the whitest of them all, this recognition- if there is actually any- is probably for Snowhite alone)chaka promise hindi ako siguro super puti. Anyway as for the rains.., so far the latest is being falsely doubted artificial too many times in a day by random people.tsk tsk tsk.

Example:
Girl: Anung Glutha pills ang tinetake mo?
Me: Ah hindeh wala
Girl: Original yan?
Me: Ah sa mommy ko toh namana
Girl: Owws, hindi ka nag pa bleach?
Me: hindeh
Girl: Ah talaga ha.


Iba when people keep assuming if you were dermatologically enhanced kung hindi naman.

It can be uhm...a little mildly exasperating (even if one meant well).
Hindi nga patas eh, can I go up to people and ask them “uy anu tine-take mo? Uling?” o di ba hindeh. Hay.

It is somewhat the same as going up to someone with a really pricey original designer’s bag worth half the value of your house and asking the person “ Class A ba yan or Class B sa greenhills mo binili?”. Now you have an idea. So just be gentle with the assumptions because chances are, not everyone is up to chasing casper's transparency.

I mean it’s not like I haven’t heard the ‘naliligo ka sa gatas’-joke too many times. These are okay. I remember nung high school (Music. Pasok. Sharon Cuneta: “high school life oh my high school life how exciting kay saya...") some of my classmates, when they walk pass me on my seat they will stretch out their wrist to near my lips, telling me if I needed blood, I could suck blood from it. Haha mga kolokoy. Labanos. Anak Araw. White lady. Glow in the Dark. I think I’ve heard it all. Actually I’ve just about heard it all pala yesterday lang. During our health teaching in the community:

Tao 1: Naliligo ata sa gatas yan eh
Tao 2: Hindi sa gatas. Mukhang binuhusan ng Boysen

Bago yun ah. Boysen.

The skin is the naked shirt of our beauty. So Hubaran na toh. Joke. Pang pagulo lang ;) hehe
Deh but it is.
We will not always be flawless, but we will always be beautiful (anu man ang kulay natin)
Kung may lait ang itim, may pintas din ang puti.
Because the world is not perfect
But it is fair after all.