Dancer Ako. Starting Kagabi.

Dancer ako. DANCER.

Sumayaw ako ng “break the ice”. Wala namang choreo. Kung anu-ano lang. At ang body movements.......... Ro-Bo-Tic. Hahaha At Iniipit ko lang sa shorts ko yung ipod kasi walang bulsa. (Pag nag speakers,mabubuking nila ako sa bahay.) Masaya rin ha. Kahit autistic ang dating Tumigil na lang ako when something in me snapped. (other than my brains, that is.) Ang masaklap hindi buto, parang bituka ko nalaglag. Panu ba naman, shempre when you’re alone, nobody there to be awkward of, nagpaka pure energy ako. Sayang din ang exercise. ARAY!, It was so painful, it kept me lying on my stomach for a good few minutes. I tried elevating my legs, sitting, lying on my back and standing still pero mas sumakit. Pero shempre, Pag labas ng kwarto…parang walang nangyari.(Pag tinanong bakit pawis, mainit lang kasi)- I slept with a handful of stop-pain ointment applied to my lower back that night. Experience enjoyed. Lesson learned. Dancer ako in my dreams.

Usually kasi we don’t have that same amount of courage when nobody is looking, than when someone is actually watching us. To cut it short, what im saying is,whatever it is you want to do with your life. Whether it be silly or sillier, hopefully not something evil though,..do better than me. Just do it, it could put you in mental hospital who knows. joke. Hindeh its just to say, we should try to enjoy life more di ba. Its already a stressful world, we need you to make it more stressful...hehehe naprapraning over here.

Minsan talaga masamang maiwan mag isa.

At sa totoo wala akong point. Nagkwento lang ako.

Goodnight.

Balatan

No More Glutathione questions please. The answer is No. It is still entirely & definitely humbly DNA heritage. And certainly, it’s not all rainbows; there are also rains to being this white (and I’m not even the whitest of them all, this recognition- if there is actually any- is probably for Snowhite alone)chaka promise hindi ako siguro super puti. Anyway as for the rains.., so far the latest is being falsely doubted artificial too many times in a day by random people.tsk tsk tsk.

Example:
Girl: Anung Glutha pills ang tinetake mo?
Me: Ah hindeh wala
Girl: Original yan?
Me: Ah sa mommy ko toh namana
Girl: Owws, hindi ka nag pa bleach?
Me: hindeh
Girl: Ah talaga ha.


Iba when people keep assuming if you were dermatologically enhanced kung hindi naman.

It can be uhm...a little mildly exasperating (even if one meant well).
Hindi nga patas eh, can I go up to people and ask them “uy anu tine-take mo? Uling?” o di ba hindeh. Hay.

It is somewhat the same as going up to someone with a really pricey original designer’s bag worth half the value of your house and asking the person “ Class A ba yan or Class B sa greenhills mo binili?”. Now you have an idea. So just be gentle with the assumptions because chances are, not everyone is up to chasing casper's transparency.

I mean it’s not like I haven’t heard the ‘naliligo ka sa gatas’-joke too many times. These are okay. I remember nung high school (Music. Pasok. Sharon Cuneta: “high school life oh my high school life how exciting kay saya...") some of my classmates, when they walk pass me on my seat they will stretch out their wrist to near my lips, telling me if I needed blood, I could suck blood from it. Haha mga kolokoy. Labanos. Anak Araw. White lady. Glow in the Dark. I think I’ve heard it all. Actually I’ve just about heard it all pala yesterday lang. During our health teaching in the community:

Tao 1: Naliligo ata sa gatas yan eh
Tao 2: Hindi sa gatas. Mukhang binuhusan ng Boysen

Bago yun ah. Boysen.

The skin is the naked shirt of our beauty. So Hubaran na toh. Joke. Pang pagulo lang ;) hehe
Deh but it is.
We will not always be flawless, but we will always be beautiful (anu man ang kulay natin)
Kung may lait ang itim, may pintas din ang puti.
Because the world is not perfect
But it is fair after all.

Bad Things Happen~Wag Pasaway~

The car flew and tumbled, while the screams coming from it halted as it stopped.. knocked over.

My cousin met an accident last night around 1 am while driving the colossal fire truck of their station (he’s been a fire volunteer ever since man discovered fire ~that long). Their team was responding to a fire in Cubao QC. The Collision sent the intersecting vehicle whose body is similar to the old Tamaraw FX type (I forgot the name of the exact model), soaring and doing a 360 tumble twice. In it were 5 people, the driver being an old man of around 70 yrs old and the youngest passenger being only 12. The vehicle attempted to race past in between the two fire trucks but actually got smashed by the second truck (the one my cousin was driving). Hearing the story is already enough for me to picture out the brutal scene that took place. It was, as admitted by both sides… an unfortunate accident. The injured parties are still at the hospital and my cousin along with his team hasn’t slept a wink. They were at the hospital all night and just came home to get some things and they are now back at the hospital again.

Anak ng Tinae! (ipot) Please be mindful when you are driving, especially when you have passengers with you. Do not disregard siren alarms (although minsan abuso ang ibang may wang-wang, just check first and judge on the visuals before you opt to disregard if ever) and not be oblivious to a social situation. Do not race with threatening vehicles just to save a few minutes of time, instead save yourself a few more minutes of life. There is no winner in circumstances like this, both parties are burdened except kung halang ang kaluluwa mo and Ulul ka lang talaga. There goes the Ulol again. Sorry.

When I was younger I didn’t care much for accidents. They were only pictures of tragic adventures in my mind, and a predicament that can happen to anybody except to me or to people I know. It was all too unreal to take seriously but as life goes by ,these once unfamiliar misfortunes will come knocking at your fate, and you start realizing that bad things do happen and it can happen to you. And while we can believe that all things are destined and even argue that there is no such thing as an accident in this world, it wouldn’t hurt to take a little caution every now and then, and value the worth you give to your life.

How To Say Ulol When In The Car

Kanta lang ako ng kanta, singer ba ako? Ahahaha. Dati wala akong paki basta gusto ko kumanta, I’ll sing right then and there. Kawawa naman ang mga ears ng aking listeners. ;p ahaha Ngayon shy na ako, I do my concerts only when Im in the car. (Hindi pwede sa banyo, maririning ka ng kapitbahay.) Siguro na-realize ko na, wala naman akong talent. Marunong lang. hehehe :P Kahit pag pinapainit ko lang yung makina, andun lang ako sa loob, Hindi ko na binubuksan yung ilaw, para hindi ako makita sa loob. Nakaupo lang sa loob, kumakanta parang tanga. =p (im not proud of it, you’ll have to thank boredom for making me share it now) Natatangi ang mga simpleng trip ko sa buhay. PS: ah yun lang nga pala ang alam ko, run the engine on. Pero hindi aandar ;p ahahaha. Ignorance is bliss (in some cases). The car’s alarm will go off a few times bago ko ma stable yung key in it and finally after some twists and turns, okay na. I guess driving is a little scary for me just as swimming have always been (subjectively). Pakiramdam ko bawat 5yards may mabubundol ako at mamatay ang malas na taong iyon. Kakanta na lang ako at mambibingi for now. Anu na namang Kaululan toh?

Speaking of Ulol,I still can’t help myself as I watch people na nakikipag-tinikling sa pagtawid sa kalye (which I am also guilty of- kala niyo kayo lang ha), kaya ayan tuloy na e-exagg ang reactions ko “batang ulul NOooooHHHhh”, “Ulul na Nanay talaga toh” “Asong Ulul, ayaw pa talaga tumabi” “Mamang Ulul” I mean everybody’s Ulol. ;p Inulul ko na silang lahat, in my panic. Im sorry. ;p for the things I say to the world. Concerned citizen lang ako. And they don’t really hear me because I don’t pull the windows down in doing so naman, hindi pa naman ako nau-ulol to do that.

(3) Things could happen to me if I do so however:

a.) Sasamaan ako ng tingin at mumurahin

b.) Sasabunutan, Duduraan at who knows baka mag pabundol pa sila

c.) Uululin din (and I could even get killed, panu kung ulul nga talaga)

(3) Reasons why I cant help but do it:

1.) The hormones did it.

2.) O.A ako

3.) Concern lang I don’t know why it comes out like that though (until it does) ;p

So For your safety:

1.) Never pull the windows down and then say ulol. (make sure they don’t hear you) hahaha =p

2.) Only say ulol when the person is really at a very critical position with the car

3.) Always include their status or role in the society for example: asong kalye = asong kalyeng Ulul, Bus = Ulul na Bus, Vendor = Tinderong Ulul. ( we still have to give acknowledgments) ;p may good manners pa rin ha… if you want pwede mo na rin sabihin Mr Ulul, Ms. Ulul. but dont make the mistake of saying it ala Kanto Girl. But always with a little Cherie Gil to your voice. ( Sorry Cherie Gil. I know you have more class than this... ;) )

But If I were you, I won’t listen to me. Obviously because everything I’ve said was nonsense. I probably don’t know what I’m saying, until late when im offline, and it registers in my mind, word per word and pagsisihan ko why why why.

And patience is a virtue. I am not done with that lesson. =p bear with me. ;p

Hidden Thoughts

The years will only seem like days for familiarities that has never learned to forget but only accustomed themselves to the present. The upcoming seems merely the object of the past. The steps are more cautious, the words carefully spoken. No there is no hole to patch because you were ever so careful this time and yet it is there. A missing piece, only it is not missing. It has no place in the puzzle of today. But it sits there, where you can only know it is there but never see for sure. You have kept it aging but timeless. And timeless will end where destiny steps in. Until then the wheel of fate will always be unknown. In good faith, let warm wishes envelope life wherever it is mailed to.

I Am Not Eskandalosa

Episodes of psychotic convulsions and seemingly demonic exorcisms, these are the other spices of our lives. Minsan gusto ko ng basagin ang ulo ni Ryan, and siguro gusto na niya akong bali-balian ng buto at patunugin na parang chicharon. And in the heat of any dense argument and in the verge of our stubbornness, the unexpected (turned knowingly-expected due to frequency of its occasion now) will happen. We will burst out laughing. I don’t know what’s so hilarious, because it’s not funny at all, pero yun tawa naman kami ng tawa. I knew it. Praning. And the peak of our rage will not just mellow down, it will simply disappear like it was never there. I believe we will never fully understand the transition.

Love na naman. I’m a one-girl-boy-band. (gulo noh…girl na nga one pa,,,boy band pa?)

Inatake ako ng hormones last Saturday:
“Im not eskandalosa” I thought. I could walk out calmly and may etiquette ako.
I took a fast gulp from the bottle of mineral water on my right hand as if it was beer.
I was on the escalator going down and he was up by the floor where I walked out on him, looking down on me by the railings, wooing me to calm my senses and go back up.
He was wooing me with his clueless-of-what-he-did-wrong-face... after he got me so mad, after he was mad. Abnoy from the planet of the apes! I swear sinadya niya munang pikunin ako. I threatened to throw at him the almost empty plastic bottle of water on my hand, to which he dared to laugh. AHHH. I snapped. I stopped thinking and just threw the bottle of water in the air, while I was still on the escalator. When it left my grasp however, I realized what I did (uh-oh), and when it did not go in the direction where I targeted it to go (Ryan’s laughing face), regret sunk in when I remembered ‘what goes up, will go down’.
I covered my head with my hands and just prayed it won’t land on someone else’s head and get my ass sued.(Nasa greenbelt ako hellow. Pag nasa Divisoria naman malamang nasaksak na ako.) It plummeted like a wild cranking solid piece of plastic, bouncing off the escalator handrail, ahead of me down to the floor I was descending to. I saw the guards rushed to it, but I picked it up before them.

Guard 1: Ma’am binato niyo?

CHE: “No hindeh, bakit ko naman ibabato?”

Guard 1: (with apologetic smile) ah sorry po. ang lakas lang po kasi ng bagsak hehe

Che: (smile din ako) ah ok lang, nabitawan ko kasi e hehe.

Kapal muks kong tiningnan ang mga reaksyon ng tao behind me during the escalator ride. Thank God walang tinamaan. I took the escalator up and Ryan was still laughing. AAAHHHH!Badong ka talaga Labylab” Ayoko man aminin, oo na Kainis. “oo na. Natawa na rin ako. I am nuts. Mixed-nuts. We had a big dinner and bought some stuffs at landmark then umuwi na..tawa tawa lang. mga baliw!

This is why they say Patience is a virtue.
And I am done with Lesson One.
I am not Eskandalosa.

love me the way i are Part III

Greatest Nonsense of It All

Is my soul nocturnal?~ Or maybe just plain ungrateful. I see you more when it is dark.

"To put the alcohol cap back on it after using it" that was i think my only new year's resolution for myself. Im not even sure if i meant it. And If i recall correctly kasi, I also blogged last January that for a change i dont want to change. But siguro that was wrong for me to say so. I hope its not too late for me though. There is always room for a good change.-hindi lang natin sure kung there is always a time. Being less impatient, for instance (among many others..;p tsk tsk tsk). Nagiging ungrateful pa ako. Blessings have been raining on us and I welcomed it as if God owed it to me. WALASTIK! ang kapal ko. I missed the essence of the blessings. That Blessings are not rewards and that God does not owe me anything. They are God's grace. And God's grace is all that I truly have. -before you think another thought- Siguro naman I am obliged to have a kunsensya and a chance to be grateful.. no hindi po ako biglang naging relihiyosa, hindi po ako biglang naging feeling special. I already know Im not a exactly a good Christian, so huwag niyo na lang akong tularan. :) Ako kasi,I blog about all kinds of nonsense, trying to make sense of every detail of life that makes its mark on my head. I forgot to make sense of God's love when it is the most nonsense of all in my life. BLASPHEMOUS? kasi patapusin muna ako. It is nonsense because I am too stupid to understand God's love. It is nonsense because I am too undeserving yet there it is, always healing me from time to time. It is the only nonsense in this world that I will never be thankful enough. The only nonsense I truly need in my life :) Maraming maraming salamat po Big J.

Holy holy week.

Lagi pong tandaan: If we are in perfect happiness, It is God's grace. If we are in deep shit (nice choice of words noh?) It is God's greatest times in our life, do not overlook that.

* To God: if I do not live up to daring thoughts i say. First of all, because i cannot exorcize myself out of being the sinner that I am, as it is so hard, so terribly hard,at siguro inutil ako. It is with all my heart that i thank you for giving me a lifetime to try to do so (regardless how long or how short), no matter how many times I have already failed you and myself. When in my fear and shame , i just want to let go, like the many times i have almost given you up,and even when people have given up on me, you remind me that You are God, that you will never give up on me. ;p Maraming Salamat Po.

note: "no disrespect meant in any way. hope no reader should ever misunderstand.