Cash and Charge

...it to experience.

So we think we got problems? Cheers to Manong Pabundol of the Pabangga Gang. (ok so I invented the a.k.a only so we could identify better) Scums whose daily job is to wait and randomly pick a car to get hit by. Matindi na talaga ang pangangailangan niya. Its a pity to know people are this desperate, but im honestly not too sympathetic right now. P.I ka Manong, Papatayin mo ba ako sa nerbyos? Ikaw ang highlight ng araw ko kahapon.

We were on our way home to Manila,pero along Makati pa kami. This happened last night. Medyo traffic and sa may bandang pa stoplight na so mabagal na super yung takbo namin. And This old guy jumped out of the darkness from the center island, walked infront of us then all of a sudden he ran towards the passenger side of the car and hit the side mirror and then bumale-balentong pa tumbling tumbling sa kalsada then bumulagta sa middle of the road pero sa likod ng sasakyan namin and he made it looked like binundol namin siya. And I was so shocked nalaglag ko lahat ng gamit ko, ipod ko, lahat. May mga kanin kanin pa kumalat sa windshield namin. Everything happened so fast. Then this guy got up walked infront us again and then umupo siya dun sa center island, holding a styro with smudged blood stains on it (so from afar, akalain mo talaga na dinudugo siya). He was pointing to his elbow pero makinis siya and wala siyang bali or anything or any wound at all, the blood stains were tuyong tuyo na, props on the styro parang ganun. Traffic din nun so there was no way we could hit anybody and titilapon siya ng ganun,we were not even on the lane near the island, nasa gitna kami kaya nga kinailangan pa niyang lumakad papalapit bago nagpabangga,but there were other vehicles behind us, and if you didnt see what happened and makikita mo na lang yung tao na nakahandusay sa kalsada, hindi mo naman kaagad maiisip that its his fault and he did it on purpose so public pressure din ang naramdaman namin that moment. Ryan also saw the look on his face and dun nga niya na confirm that this old guy pulled a stunt on us. Fuck talaga. There was no dent whatsoever on the car...kinalampag lang din niya kaya tumunog na parang nabangga. Ryan went back to the car after niya super pagalitan and usisain yung manong and I even popped my head out the window to do the same thing begging the guy to never do such a thing again because you never know what his chances are next time di ba? We gave him money 'for his efforts', to which he said "kulang toh...kulang toh" And healthy na siya ulit ha. It was a hell of a night.

Time is a Bitch

when its not available.

I wish we could go back to when we did not need to buy time.
To nights when we could be anywhere we want.
To days when we could plan the next silly thing to do.
To never having to ask when will we have time or when will we be free for anything.
To a time when happiness was cheap.
when love was more important than time.
And time did not matter at all.
And when 'waiting and next time' was nothing but strange words.
When you and I were like that song, 'Two Less Lonely People in the World"

Love is not complicated, we are.
Life as we reason, is but just one big distraction to living it and its ironically what we call life.

If time is for sale, Im buying wholesale.
But its not. But then again we're buying it anyway.
So if time is gold. what is gold to us?
Now that differs.

Its funny that the world claims to want to live life to the fullest but always be too busy to do it.

For A Change

Oo I know late na para mag post pa ako ng New Year's Resolution ko. But who cares. Atleast meron,so lets see:

1. I will not forget to put the alcohol cap back on it after using it.
So far yan na lang muna, wala na akong ibang maisip eh hahahaha ;p

The truth is I like being me. (Or do I?;p). I dont eat vegetables. I dont drink milk and I dont like cheese on my spaghetti and I like my M&M's with nuts. (wheee I'm very healthy) I believe that the Martilyo Gang exist or existed (they are people who will kill you to death using hammers by tricking you into picking up coins which are actually glued randomly on sidewalks and basta sa sahig ng public places, do you never wonder why may mga barya sa kung saan saan. Dont mind it , its a trap ;p hahaha) ;p. I memorize at least one line in a really good movie. (I can't help it, good dialogues blow me away and Im a sucker for good flicks.) ;p. I am mabait but i also have my temper- so do not piss me off on a level we both wont like especially if we're not really that close. ;) hahaha

New Year's Resolution are list of things that are supposed to make us better people, suppose to change us for the better. So would I be so wrong to say that for a change, I dont want to change. Maybe I even want to go back to how I used to be. Lately, I realized I overdose myself on thoughts not healthy for me, I think too much of things and compound them into something deeper. I am confusing myself. As a result, I've forgotten to appreciate the people around me. Including Ryan. I'm sorry. Im going to try to retrace my steps and pick up my small smiles and my silly hugs along the way so next time, I'll have them in hand for you. I'll pick myself up where i lost myself. One day at a time (Geez i like saying that: One day at a time...I'm starting to really annoy myself ;p).

As for one of my silly ideas in the bucket list for the year. Im really looking forward to learning how to swim. (and wearing my two piece hahaha :P kapal), whenever that would be, its going to be this year (but just in case it doesn't happen, i hope i still have next year..Lord let me live long enough for my bikini hahaha ;p, let me grace the beach with my annoying shining presence ;p).

I am full of silly things. I wonder if twenty years later, will my blogs still be online? Will Czesca be able to read it and blackmail me with things i write so she could flee off to the beach wearing whatever? ;p haha. I just hope she carries it with grace and smarts, and hindi siya lumaking baduy then ;)

HEATH LEDGER

Here comes the Blinking headline of my day. Heath Ledger is d e a d. I swear it made me cry. Im a big fan. I've always thought he did brilliant in his movies, I'd choose him over Brad Pitt anytime. I'll miss your smile, I'll miss your accent. I've always hoped you'd end up like Robert Deniro, Sean Penn, Al Pacino someday, and admired how you hated being typecasted and went for roles that would be doubtful for others. FYI. Playing Ennis in Brokeback Mountain was not his first time to accept a gay role. Although you did make me cringe there. ;p I'll definitely watch "A Dark Knight" this year (PROMISE). I dont even know if you finished filming "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus" (showing by 2009) My sympathy and condolences to little Matilda Ledger.

And I definitely want all his movies in a DVD collection for Valentine's. I doubt though, that Ryan or anybody would give me that, Ryan is one hater, but Helloww Im just a decent fan, I dont ogle at actors the way men in general ogle for actresses (tulo-laway,etc) although i smile sheepishly ;p hahaha. I go for good acting skills and great deliverance. I bet no boyfriend is bound to understand. or trust that. (so i guess im doomed to buy the copy (if any) myself)

Change Your Stars and Follow your Feet, dun ko nga kinuha yung caption ng blogsite na to eh sa movie niya, its his line dun sa A Knight's Tale. :(

TEDIUM, MY LOVE ('',)

actually tedium just means boredom. ;p just trying to make the title catchy. ;p hahaha

Pakisilaban naman ng apoy ang inyong mga sarili now na please para ma entertain naman ako. I am super bored (Zzzzzzz). I've browsed through my whole cyberlife in this little space i have at the office.
I have invited the whole class sa friendster. (or so i think)

Nag cyber window shopping. Nag google at nalaman ko ngang Britney owns a pink wig. Its as exciting as today. wheee.

Nag delete na rin ako ng forever unread millions of messages sa inboxes ng 3 yahoo mail ko. (most of them newsletters lang)

At Kasama nga sa mga nasagap kong unread messages ay two indecent proposal PM sa tagged.com, one from Osama Bin laden and one from a Dirty Old Man,haha kamukha kasi ni Osama yung isa and yung isa D.O.M as is and as in.

See at may account pala ako dun sa tagged.com, nakalimutan ko nga na meron pala eh. Anyways, so I checked to see kung mukhang pang porno ba ang primary pic na nailagay ko dun, hindi naman ah. Headshot nga lang yun in sepia and hindi pa ako naka smile. Parang pang ID pa nga eh, luma na kasi. Ang mundong ito nga naman puno ng M.

B o R i N g.

Im sorry if i cannot offer you smart wits at the moment, just my last energy of available humor for the day is all i have in hand right now. (and im not even sure if its humorous at all ;p)

This blog is an absolute nonsense but its exactly where i am now, so if you're reading this right now Im probably not here at this moment anymore pero para ka na ring dumaan sa buhay ko at this time, at this minute, at this very second.Welcome to the halls of boredom. Na serendipity na tayo. Its fate. ;p So whoever you are (reader), I hope you're having a more exciting day. :)

Nga pala, here's to share an old photo i found stocked in one of my emails:
I dont really know what i was doing in this picture anymore ,although it really looks like im munching on paper, please dont believe your eyes. ;p Im guessing I was bored din nung time na yan, Im usually more sophisticated *haha...

Nuts why else?

Patayin sa Saksak si Kenny?

r palmero: cge... basta alagaan mo lang sarili mo ha... ganda ganda mo... baka maubos sa puyat...
me: bolera ka na ngayon ha
me: malayo pa bday ko :p
rica palmero: hindi ahhh totoo yon.... pero kahit maganda ka hindi ko makalimutan yung ginawa mo kay lloyd go nung grade 5 tayo
me: anu may ginawa ba ako sa kanya?
me: anu yun?
r palmero: tinusok mo ng ballpen sa likod
me: hahahahahaha
me: (laughing smiley) ;p
r palmero: tapos si christine sa kamay sinaksak
r palmero: si lloyd go
me: hindi si l go yun
me: si Kenny S
r palmero: oo
r palmero: ang tinusok mo sa likod?
me: oo
me: :)
r palmero: ahhh
me: dati
r palmero: oo
me: nalalala mo pumapatol sa babae yun di ba
r palmero: nabaligtad na.. bali grade 6 yon
me: nung elem, so sabi ko" saksakin kita ng bolpen jan eh!" sabi naman niya "sige tagal.." kaya sinaksak ko,,, masunurin ako eh ;p
r : oo nga.... makulit yon classmate ko rin yon nung 1st year.
r palmero: (laughing smiley)
r palmero: tama lang yan
r palmero: alam ko masunurin ka talaga
me: (laughing smiley)
r palmero: kaya delikado ang ganda mo
me: mala serial killer
me: (laughing smiley)
r palmero: (laughing devil smiley)

After ..God knows since when... Ngayon ko lang ulit nakausap si R, sa ym pa. :)
The real Marimar.
haha ;p I cant believe she kept a violent memory of me nung elementary hahaha. Its so funny. :p So maybe lets just say i was a dangerous little girl, who shouldn't be left alone with ballpens. ;p hahaha.
Kasi ngayon ko lang naalala and yes its true, sinaksak ko pala si Kenny sa likod ng ballpen ko nung Grade 6 kami. He's a cute boy who's about 1 or 2 years older ata from us. Mild pa nga yung term ni Rica "tinusok" ko daw..as far as i can remember "sinaksak" would be the more accurate term. hahaha. Kenny if you ever read this and i never said sorry to you dati, 'Im sorry' (sincere yan promise) ;) ........but back then you deserved it. :p peace kenny. peace :) Anyways i dont recall naman that the ballpen actually ever punctured through his polo shirt uniform and under shirt noon. Siguro parang may stabbing pressure lang, but then again..how should i know di ba? Im the smooth criminal here ;p Kenny wag mo akong paghigantihan ha. :) For the record,we went on to high school to be beautiful peaceful teenagers,friends,batchmates, and during all high school, Kenny did not show signs of plotting 'V' for Vendetta ;p hahaha or signs of even remembering my little crime. Thank God. ;) Thank God. And okay naman kami ah. Hi Kenny. ;p mabait na si kenny ngayon eh sobrang bait (peace ;p)

note: si Christine naman na nang saksak ng ballpen sa kamay, ginantihan ata niya. Sinuntok niya or sinampal, i dont remember clearly... si kenny ba yun or si lloyd yung sa sinaksak niya?. too bad di ba? hindi nakailag. I've always loved her spunk. :) Hi Christine, I heard you are a ramp model now. (bigla bang bumati? ;p)

As for the mistaken-victim L Go, who I hear is playing drums for a band now. I never attacked him in whatsoever way and did not and will have no whatsoever reason to do that. I do remember we were close friends once until he transferred. He's a cool guy though. Wherever you are Lloyd, take care!! :)

To the Road that Never Ends

Last night I imagined that the road to far away is never ending. I stared out on the highways ahead of us until I fell asleep in the car. But then failure to be stoic woke me up. I unplugged the earphones from my ears, and we were back.

---The last of the drama blogs---

Big Bump Cars

According to my memory, 2 beses pa lang akong nakasakay ng bump car in my entire life. I just dont like the idea of bumping cars. I dont know why. ;p Roller coaster, bungee jumping kahit ano wag lang bump cars...kahit sa totoong buhay,I grew up enjoying my place just being at the passenger's seat. Being just the passenger. Patulog tulog lang, padungaw dungaw sa bintana. Nangugulo lang. Nakikireact lang sa traffic. ;p

Kahit nga bike, I would have never learned how to ride the bike kung hindi pa ako inuto ng pinsan ko. I was around 7 yrs old then and he was 8. It was his bike. He told me he'd hold the balance of the bike from the back so i can focus on pedaling. We did just that for a while. Until one time I noticed something was different. His voice was going softer as i went farther so i panicked,turned around and saw that he was no longer behind me and that i was pedaling on my own. Next scene: I crashed. But the Big check was I realized marunong na ako mag bike. :) At ayun si batang cherryl nag e-exhibition na. Pa no-hands no-hands, at tinataas ko pa ang both legs ko sa manibela..haha pang carnival ang bicycle abilities ko nung bata eh :) hahaha.

Anyway last night..we were at Macapagal, He was teaching me how to drive the car. I think I did fine except that I easily get distracted. He even asked me to cross the intersection and proceed to the gas station but I just had to say " ayaw niyo na bang mabuhay?". He is bluffing my courage, I'd go for it but Im psychologically not ready. I guess I've watched too many morning news on Car accidents. Plus I know myself. I cant even stay on the same lane for too long. Any imaginary shadow even have the power to make me step on the brake or on the gas. That is a sign of death. hahaha meaning...scared driver could drive you straight to infinity and beyond.

I dont know when the next driving lesson will be, since 1 am's are not really when my energy and alertness is at its tops. We'll see. Its just funny to think noh, When we were little kids, he taught me how to ride the bike and now he's teaching me to drive the car. :)

Cherries Zuno

I mentioned in a blog below that nobody calls me Zuno anymore. I thought i had a fair chance since they call the other Cherry 'cheery' haha ;p. But I guess Once 'Zuno' always 'Zuno in a world of Cherrys'. :P

Forgetful Lucy (Ang Pagsapi)

I remind myself to go back to what i might have overlooked
and I cloud myself with your gentleness.
I tell you my daydreams as i always do
and you listen to them as you always do.
The world thinks it should be enough.
I think it should be enough.

I wish to never forget.
I wish to remember.

Like a wild beast once again, tame me.

Ordinary Blahs

..in other words, usual nonsense. passing thoughts of the morning.

I dont know how many times....wait. I just noticed kinagat ako ng lamok sa middle finger ko. Is it the mosquito's way of saying 'im f***ed'? ;p wala lang gutom lang toh. As I was saying...I dont know how many times akong magpapatahi ng uniform. Either I look so kindergarten, or it looks like I'm wearing a maternity gown. So After wasting much money and jumping from one bodista to another, tomorrow I get a taste of the third experiment. so would it fit me? would I finally look decent in this one? (Update: just talked to the bodista and she said the uniform is going to be delayed for another day-just my luck)

So what else...I need a new passport, My passport has expired and it says Im 'Tan', my birth certificate says Im 'Zuno'. I dont know the exact reason why they had to change my last name after my mom's maiden name in the passport (using a different birth certificate) but i remember them saying so that my father would never find me (or did i get it wrong?), Ha. I even remember hearing them say I could even pick myself a new name. So among the new names I thought of was Hershey - for the sake of the chocolate bar what else?. But now I realize Im better off with 'Cherryl'. Though I never really appreciated my name during my primary and secondary years in school, panu ba naman, I always had a classmate with a similar name, either iba lang spelling or something like that. The other che, always gets to be called che, I on the other hand was more-than-not always called 'Zuno'. Nobody calls me Zuno now but I still have a classmate whose name is also Cheryl. ;) The Cherryls of this world. And I''ll let you in on a little secret, dahil nga sa ka kontian ng mga taong tumatawag sa akin ng Cherryl while another Cherry exist in the same area or at the same period, I tend to remember those who call me Cherryl more than those who don't. Complete with how they said my name. Grabeh Im so pathetic. ;p hahaha hehehe

I still have work by the way..so i dont know when I'll finally have the time to get a new one. Siguro by end of January. At sasama raw si broken-hearted-blogger sa min. Hahanap kami ng singkit na prince. (niya) joke ;p

My Dental Diet

This is not good. This is not good. Its been a week since I've religously followed my dentist's recommended diet for me. Yes this diet is from my dentist..who has provided me with "The official No-Eat-List" in caring for my brackets and my teeth. One week pa lang... and I already feel like Mt. Pinatubo. Only I dont know when i'll snap. Im trying to stay positive (at least Im losing weight..;) ) but i think im starting to feel the sadness sinking in. I miss real food. (note: real food = meaning in my world...nuggets, fries, chicken, sweet n sour, isaw na bilog - well they're not really the healthy line-up but hayaan niyo na ko...) Kanina lang napanuod ko nga ang commercial ng Mc Donald's, Naluluha na akong talaga, walang exagg..promise. ;( kunan ba daw ng close-up shots ang nuggets at fries....para na rin akong nanuod ng Malaala Mo Kaya. Drama ang dating sa akin ng commercial na yun.

What's funny pa is...yesterday at the office, I found myself googling for pictures of fried chicken/steak/ and yes even isaw. I saved them to a folder and even edited them so they'll all be in one same photo. After doing that, I just stared at it. wala lang. Then I realized i must be going insane (if im not already), googling for photos of food i'd like to eat that im not allowed to eat is in the first place ridiculous already, tapos tititigan ko pa. So yun I deleted the photo but not... without hesitation in my heart. Pathetic wahahaha ;p. Really pathetic eh?. ;p huhuhu. 2 months daw sabi ni doc. It sounds like foreverrr and everrrrr. I feel like my hunger and my cravings are confined in my own Big Brother House. It is nerve racking. If you know me, you'd know Im forever in love with sweet n Sour Pork. And Sweet n Sour Pork is just one of those things i'd like to sink my teeth in asap. Because right now...I'm missing food like a teenage girl whose always hopeful to see her first big crush pero hindi naman niya maka-close. Pakiramdam ko by the time talaga na pwede na akong kumain maiiyak ako sa tuwa... FoooooOOooooOooood. I dont know how long id stay good to the diet.

Re: to Crushed.

"am not perfect nor close to it.. i have also mistakes that made me this shattered and crushed again.. i did try to conceal my imperfections..try to patch the holes but i was too late to patch things up.. it was too late..and it hurts so bad that it really kills me inside.. i tried to save it..but it was really too late.. my heart is broken.. it is shattered and and the agony will continue..i dont know how long..it hurts so bad that u easily moved on..it feels like hell.. the thought.. you are gone and out of my life..seeing you will kill me more but somehow in some ways it will make me strong..maybe not now but in time.. i know everything will be fine.. but for now i want to tell u for the last time.. i love you and each waking up knowing your gone really feels like hell..."~~~anoynymous-by choice-friend.

While the rest of us embraced the New Year with big hugs, someone i know is hugging on to love lost. Love...it is really something exclusive. The whole of each is only conceivable by the very people involve. I mean, we've all been there, friends telling you he's not worth it.., he is panget after all,that there are better loves somewhere out there,they keep asking you what you see in the guy... but still we listen only to our hearts and answer only to what we feel. It is exclusive alright. In some cases, i even think love makes us stupid. (if you've never been there, dont bother reading this blog, it might contaminate your blissful idea of love or make me sound simply pessimistic -which im not trying to be, by the way. ;)- it is complicated to those who are virgins to subjective similar situations.)Anyway, I placed a bet of 300 pesos that my broken-hearted-friend-blog-above will re-unite with dear-lost-beloved or that dear-lost-beloved will at least attempt to get back with her within 3 months. I dont hope i win though, I mean the guy is okay but personally i have a hunch he's not the one ( will not disclose my reasons in respect to both parties) and like i say in mind...'if you are not the one, dont waste time''. But then again, whatever is the outcome, as long as my friend's happy and sane , I'll be here and trust she knows what she's doing (Kaya mo yan! Repeat after me: "Pag Ibig Ka Lang!" mwahaha ;p.Hell. Ive been here (not exactly the same pero yung feeling ng despair in love i mean). God knows I've walked on hot coals and broken pieces of glass for love. Did it stop me? No. But true enough that in the sad end, real sore heartbreaks can make you cry like the Pagsanjan Falls,stay sleepless for nights, all the while feeling a gong just beneath your chest being hit over and over again. It almost seem like the pain will never ever stop. It almost seem like every little thing reminds you of that person you wish your heart can forget or if not the person at least the feelings. Its insane. Ganyan talaga ang life. Buti na lang, there will always be a rainbow after the rain, the leprechaun's pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and a leprechaun chasing after you ;p sorry sinusumpong na naman ako ng kalokahan ;p corny mo suno. Seriously,ultimately naman the heart is destined to come out wiser with a more cautious but deeper love naman on the positive side (as supposed to be). And plus! Its time to beautify (->even more). :) or sulk a few days (give yourself a deadline on the sulking though) Chippy lang katapat nyan, pancit canton, ice cream, salon, spa and popcorn na rin. :) hahaha pinapataba lang kita ;) As for cruellas that surround you, dont mind them, now that you're singlish ;p they better hold on to their bf's. (naks ang hangin mo..ehehe). In time...Mr. Right will come around and love is just bound to happen. :)

Ahh.We talked on the phone last night for hours and i listened to her endless expressions of her suddenly-poetic broken heart. (Wow 'Lugmo' ang lalim...'dalamhati' etc, just goes to prove how desperately we try to define not the word 'pain' but the feeling of pain...) I think she'll be fine though,come worst- that her love has found someone else. Because if she wont be fine, why the hell are we friends for? Didnt we learn anything from each other. Naks! hoy 300 pesos ko! I keep talking here like Im Ms. Jane de Mango. Im no love expert/therapist. Just your friendly support who is willing to listen to your mindless drama-joke!. hehe:) and maybe tease you a little bit. "Pag Ibig Ka Lang!" hahaha ;P.

Bating Panimula

2007's been one unpredictable year for me. (Not like i can predict any year or the future ;p ) It started out hard on us but then.. ended perfectly. So I guess I'll have to say its a good year. Wait re-phrase lang...Actually.. its not the year that's been good. Its God. :) *naks! Pero totoo nga yun.. totoo.

Hellow two thousand and eight. We'll be blogging soon.